Perfect Redemption

Sixteen: In Which She Took A Very Big Risk

    "What if he didn't comply with you, Blaire?" His eyes are cold, foreign. "What if he reported you anyway? Did you think about that?"

    "He won't." I shake my head. "I made sure of that. He wouldn't-he couldn't risk these pictures getting out. It would ruin him."

    "And you're so sure of that?" He scoffs. "Jesus, Blaire. I can't-this is absolutely insane. A lot of fucking things can go wrong. I'm... scared for you, Blaire." His voice sounds so small, so... vulnerable when he says that last sentence. My heart almost does a mini somersault in my chest.

    He's... scared for me. Wow. Jax Deneris is capable of feeling for another human being other than himself.

    "I know... there's still a possibility that something can go wrong..." My voice trails off. I pull off my mask and weave my fingers through my hair. My hands are still shaky—an after effect of what had happened—and Jax definitely notices them. He sighs out of frustration. "But... I can't do anything about it. The only thing I can do right now is just hope for the best."

    "You scared the shit out of me, Blaire." He murmurs, sliding his hand over my cheek, leveling our faces together. I gulp, daring to look up at him. His eyes are swimming with so much worry. Nobody has looked at me like that. Nobody has ever wanted to protect me like this before. Of all the months I've been out on the streets, nobody even gave two shits about me.

    But Jax... he looks at me like he's genuinely worried about what is going to happen to me.

    And I like it. A foreign feeling crawls into my chest and warms my heart, causing my breath quicken.

    "I'm sorry," I mumble. "But I have it handled. I think."

    "You think," he chuckles, echoing my words, mimicking my voice. "Shit, Blaire. You're going to ruin me. Seriously."

    I want to ruin you. I want to ruin you so bad that you'll never be the same again.

    Jax's eyes trail down to the cash in front of us, breaking eye contact between us. This allows me to take a step back, trying to collect what's left of my sanity.

    "This money better be worth everything you'd just risk, Blaire. It better be." He tells me.

    I glance at the cash. I already imagine what's going to happen during these next few months. Everything's going to change-for the better. Mr. Forman taking my case, helping me win custody of Eden. Having Eden to myself, without having to worry about his adoptive parents. Us building a great life together.

    This-this future is worth everything.

    And I'll do anything to secure it.

    Even if it means risking my damn life.

☸☸☸☸☸☸

    I think Jax is kind of scarred by the whole ordeal because the moment we reach home, he says goodnight and heads straight to his room. I don't stop him—what happened tonight was scary.

    Scary and thrilling.

    But I wasn't going to admit that to him. Or anybody in fact.

    Sure, if things had not played out my way, I would be behind bars right now. But for some fucked up reason, I would do it all over again. Because I love the feeling of danger—the adrenaline pulsing through my veins. I'm addicted to the thrill, the madness, the risks. I want it all. Back when I was doing minor thieving on the streets, I remembered how much I liked it.