On a String

Chapter 13

Fear.

He was still afraid.

("You're... afraid, aren't you, Ninja?")

Afraid of them, even though they weren't here.

But that meant... that meant-

He was still their Puppet, doing as they wanted, controlled by his own fear.

The fear that they had created.

'What, weren't you listening either?' he could picture it... laughing- warm like sunshine and fluffy white clouds.

(Laughter; tinkling like bells at Christmas time, sounding as colourful and cheerful as the flashing festive lights)

He wanted it.

(Needed it).

Wanted to laugh, wanted to be free, wanted to laugh with Cole... wanted, he wanted-

'Weren't you listening either?'

Why was it still so hard to laugh?

(Why was it so hard to break free? Why did light blind you so painfully after living in darkness?)

He wanted to rise again.

(He'd had enough of dying)

Didn't want this.

But... reaching out just felt so wrong...

No. He was not a puppet.

Fear did not control him.

("...I promised him...")

'Weren't you listening either?'

Almost of their own accord, Kai's lips twitched slightly into the ghost of a grin.

"Good," Cole nodded, but the movement stopped when he noticed Kai's (so very faint) smirk. "... Uh, what are you laughing about?" he asked.

"I wasn't laughing," Kai stared at him, eyes widening as the smirk left his face.

Cole, determined to make the expression (that hadn't been on Kai's face for so very long) reappear, pointed an accusing finger. "You were smirking at me! You had that look!" he chuckled easily, encouraging Kai to feel safe and join in.

Kai frowned innocently. "A look?"

"Yes. It's the one you always get when you're laughing at me! What were you laughing about?" Cole asked, his own lips twisting into a grin. His cheerful tone seemed to fill the air and lightened the mood.

Laugh. You know you want to. "I wasn't laughing," Kai protested, his mouth staying in a flat line, but the small crinkles beginning to form at the corners of his eyes gave away his amusement.

"Don't play innocent! Is there something wrong with my hair or something? What is it?"

"No, it wasn't about that. Your hair is fine... well-" Kai paused. Did he want to-?

Breathe again. Rise again. Fly again. Like a Phoenix (die to live...life after death... resurrection) with wings of fire?

He didn't want to live like this anymore (was NOT a puppet)... but the change seemed so, so... daunting.

(He wanted to smile).

"Well? Fine and well, is that all my hair is?" Cole asked, mock hurt oozing in his tone and distracting Kai from his musing.

Kai remained a little cautious. (Laugh again, rise again, breath again...) he took a breath. "Well, for someone who doesn't use gel... yes, it is. I suppose..." he hesitantly volunteered, watching Cole's reaction carefully (cautiously).