On a String

Chapter 13

Kai's gaze slipped away from his as he examined the floor. "...No,"

Cole shook his head, resolving that he wasn't going to let Kai retreat back into his own mind any longer until some things had been sorted out. The answer he had given was not satisfactory, because it was not honest. "Kai. Give a proper, honest, answer, please," he asked firmly.

Kai froze with indecision while Cole patiently waited for him to continue.

"Well, yes," Kai finally managed. He looked beyond uncomfortable, so Cole gave him a small pat on the shoulder, understanding that admitting it wasn't an easy thing to do.

When it became obvious that no more information was going to be volunteered by the Ninja in red, Cole gestured for him to explain more. "Why?" he prompted.

Kai frowned slightly. He hated this discussion already. Telling everything felt so wrong... unearthing things which (belonged to him, him alone!) were better left buried... better left dead.

(So much was better off dead. Hollow shells of all that had once been (but would never be again like happy and safe and trust...) things that if made to come alive again would haunt everything...).

He failed to see how opening up was going to help. Yes, he felt uncomfortable trusting other people. Fine. But that all there was to it. He couldn't see how that was a problem. It was protection.

Heck, why was he even trusting Cole? Why?

Because he cares. Something whispered. Because you need him. Because you'd be a mess without him.

I don't need anything. I don't depend on anyone. Nothing controls me! He shot back angrily.

What about your fear of being controlled? Isn't that controlling you? Making you afraid to trust again? As long as you listen and respond to that fear, don't the Puppeteers still control you?

Oh.

Um.

His fear of being controlled was controlling him...? But that was...

Kai swallowed.

It was correct, wasn't it?

His head hurt. He was so sick of this.

Should he reach out or not?

You know you want to. You know you need to. Cole understands. Listen to him.

Cole understands... Kai frowned. Just minutes ago, Cole had trusted him enough to cry (he'd never seen Cole cry) openly. To expose his own hurt to Kai and let him know that he wasn't alone.

Cole trusted him. Kai was a mess, falling apart, not sure where he was going (or even where he was) and Cole still trusted him enough to break front of him.

Oh.

That was...

Surely his teammate deserved some trust? Kai took a breath and clenched his hands into fists, steeling his nerve. For Cole... "Because when they... asked us questions... that's what they looked for. A reaction which would show them... a..." Kai trailed off, looking slightly sick.

Understanding what his friend was referring to, Cole nodded. "A weakness?" he asked in an attempt to keep the conversation going.

A small trace of gratitude flashed in Kai's eyes as he realised that Cole understood what he meant.

Cole understood. Cole cared.

"Yes," he nodded, a warm, unfamiliar feeling beginning to ignite in his heart.