On a String

Chapter 10

What if it had been?

What if history had repeated all over again?

He'd be trapped there, with no hope for escape (he'd been lucky last time) and they would control him and he would be in agony and they'd keep killing and growing and taunting and manipulating and teasing and, and , and...

Bloodfirepainhopelessnessbloodfirepainhopelessness.

Tears ran down his face.

(Blood ran down his forearm)

Sobbing now, Kai stared at the floor with pained eyes.

"Don't think about it," he heard Cole say.

But his voice was a long way away and the floor seemed to be sucking him down, down, down into places he would rather not revisit and forcing him to relive events he would rather not remember.

The cell floor had been covered in blood. He could still recall leaning on it, the moonlight seeping in through the barred window, turning the growing puddle an unusual, dark shade. It had sort of glinted; shone, almost in the pale light.

It had been oddly pretty, in a sick, twisted way. The light glinting, that was. Not the (his) blood.

He remembered slowly getting colder. The pain had increased, and so had the cold.

He thought that the cold was meant to numb the pain. But it hadn't.

(Nothing seemed to numb the pain).

That night had seemed to last forever.

It had been so... cold.

Hurt so much.

He had wondered if he would die that night. In fact, he had been sure he would. With the moonlight glinting on his blood being the last thing he saw and coldness and despair being the last things he felt.

For someone who had led such a bold, energetic life, it seemed to be a disappointing way to die. (He didn't want to die) He'd always hoped to go down in a blaze of glory. One last heroic stand. Saving people who couldn't save themselves.

But he had been the one who couldn't save himself that time. And nothing else was going to save him, either. There was no one there. Even the moon had been far away; free outside the cell window. It could come and go as it pleased, while he remained trapped.

He didn't think he'd see the dawn break that night.

Numbly (but he could still feel everything: paintearshurthopeless- how did that work?), he registered more tears running down his face.

"Kai, I'm here," Cole said.

Kai tore his gaze away from the floor and looked at Cole anxiously. Sensing his friend's distress, Cole gently pulled Kai closer.

Kai remained tense. He wanted... he needed...

The trembling Ninja leaned into the embrace, burying his face on Cole's shoulder just like he had that morning. "Don't go," his voice was thick with tears.

"I'm not going anywhere," Cole said, bringing one hand up to gently stroke the back of Kai's head. "See? I'm still here,"

Kai drew in a shaky breath.

"Go to sleep," Cole murmured. "You need it,"

"No," Kai shook his head, but the movement lacked strength. "Please, no," he pleaded weakly, tears still running down his face.

"You'll break if you keep going like this," Cole replied. (Kai had already broken inside. And now the jagged edges of his shattered soul were piercing through the cold front; destroying everything that was left from the inside.) He'd never heard Kai plead before.

"I can't sleep. It'll all come back," Kai gave another choked sob and leant further into Cole, craving the support.

"That was then, Kai. This is now. It's over now. You're safe,"

"But, but..." Kai's trembling increased.

"Just try closing your eyes, okay?"

Kai remained edgy, hands gripping the shoulders of Cole's pyjamas tightly. "You won't go?"

You won't leave me?

Cole shook his head, surprised at Kai's sudden clinginess. This wasn't a side Cole had seen before. Just as day had turned into night, Kai had gone from cold to completely dependent (completely vulnerable). For the second time that day, Cole wondered just how fragile (broken) he really was underneath the detached shield. "I'll stay here for as long as you need me," he promised, heartbroken at seeing Kai like this.

This was not the Ninja who caught and threw cutlery with blinding, deadly accuracy. Not the Ninja who taught the team (including Sensei) different ways of fighting and how to target the unprotected, vital areas of an opponent with common household items.

This was the person The Puppeteers had created. Someone broken, hurt. Someone in desperate need of comfort and support. Who needed to be held and reassured.

Who was made of glass.

Kai was silent, his flow of tears gradually slowing. It was another few minutes before he hesitantly queried, "You don't mind?" his voice had all the strength of a snowflake on a hot, sunny day.

"What did I say?" Cole asked with a reassuring smile. "I'll stay here for as long as you need me,"

Kai nodded. "Thanks," he replied, his head still resting on Cole's shoulder. Cole's hand continued to rub his head in a soothing motion and he gave a small, tired yawn.

He was soon fast asleep.

"Lying beside you;
Listening to you breathe.
The light that flows inside of you,
Burns inside of me."
Understanding'