The College Experience [Larry Stylinson boyxboy]

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Louis smiled a little, relief flooding through him like a warm bath slowly filling up. Harry learning how to treat his own anxiety was a massive weight off Louis' shoulders. Whether Harry was seeing someone or not, learning how to deal with his moods on his own was important- even back when he was with Louis, it just wasn't possible for Louis to be there every moment Harry might need him. And now that Louis wasn't there for any of Harry's moods, it was comforting to know that he could take care of himself when he needed to.

"That's good that you're working on things, I'm really happy for you," Louis said.

The green eyed boy turned on his side to look at Louis, and Louis felt his breath being pulled out of his lungs, taking a moment to sculpt a sentence, the words catching in his throat and tangling in his mouth. He'd forgotten how gorgeous Harry was.

"Are you doing okay with everything that happened with your dad?" Louis asked. "I wanted to call you to make sure you were okay, but Niall called me first and said you weren't comfortable talking to me," Louis drew in a deep breath. "I didn't want to make anything worse, but I just need to know if you're okay."

"Grief counselling helped," Harry said slowly. "And I went down to visit my mum and sister the other weekend, I got to visit where my dad... where he's resting. That helped. I didn't really know him though," Harry said. "So it's been strange to try and process it. Sorry about Niall, like, banning you from calling or texting me, he's been helping me work through everything. I really needed some space to work on taking care of myself."

Louis nodded, before he remembered suddenly. "Oh my God," he said, "About what I said about Niall sleeping with someone and not telling you, I didn't mean to make things weird between you two, I hope I didn't-"

"It's fine," Harry said. "We talked about it," he sighed. "And Gemma can make her own decisions... there's not much to be mad about, just- I wish he would've told me. But people don't tell me things," Harry said quietly. "Because everyone's scared I'm too breakable. Right?"

"Haz, I didn't mean it like that," Louis said, his blue eyes pleading.

"No, it's true," Harry said. "I'm working on it though."

Harry's words tingled across Louis' skin, the older boy ached hearing Harry's voice again. "And how's school going? Are you keeping up with the workload?"

"I know you're a journalist, Lou," Harry said with a ghost of a smile, "But enough questions, alright? I want to hear about you. About what you've been through, about- God, just about everything, alright? I couldn't sleep because I just needed to know... no matter how shitty things ended with us, I don't want you to spend the rest of your life thinking that someone you dated for almost six months didn't care about the things you've been through. I just don't want you to remember me like that- don't want you to remember us like that. I want to listen now, Lou. I'm ready."

"I don't know if that's-"

"Tell me everything... please," he whispered, moving a little closer to Louis, careful to keep some space between the two, although they were close enough now that Louis could practically feel Harry's warmth seeping into his skin.

"I don't know where to start," Louis admitted, letting out a small sigh.

Harry bit his lip thoughtfully, twisting the braided hem of the blanket between his fingertips. "You binge eat," he whispered, his voice turning up in the end almost in a question. "We've never... we've never talked about that."

"I started that when I was starting high school," Louis said, but it didn't feel like an answer, and he was going to add just a little more on, but it started to tumble out. "My parents were fighting and it was hard to fit in at the new school and the teachers kept putting so much pressure on us... and food just helped fill something empty I guess. I used to eat when I got home from school, I was always too nervous to eat during lunchtime at school, but I'd be so hungry by the time I got home, I'd just, I mean, I'd really eat everything... just cheezie crackers and Oeros and and those little crisp packets," Louis' voice shook a little as he spoke. "Same sort of stuff I eat now when I'm, when I'm like that. I had so much food under my bed, in my closet... it was disgusting, honestly."