Chapter Thirty-Eight

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Trigger Warnings: Louis talks about eating disorders [also, sorry this is so long!]

Louis rolled around in his bed, his head feeling fuzzy not sure what jolted him awake, but trying to keep himself up for at least a minute or two to make sure there wasn't a party going on that he had to shut down. The first years all seemed too exhausted now that it was the second semester- Louis hadn't had to break up any parties in weeks. Satisfied by the silence, Louis cuddled back up into his warm blankets, his eyelids heavy as he started to drift back asleep.

Until he heard it again.

Someone was knocking. On his door. He fumbled for his phone to check the time, the glare of the screen harsh on his sleepy eyes. Two in the morning.

Louis stumbled out of bed, trying to kick his way out of the tangle of sheets on his bed that were holding him captive.

Louis opened the door, half convinced he was still asleep when he saw him.

Harry.

"Truce?" the green eyed boy whispered, his blanket wrapped around him so tight Louis thought it must be holding him together.

Louis just nodded, his mouth open a little, his eyes wide. He wasn't processing anything, just standing with his hand still resting on the door handle as he tried to make sense of what was going on.

"Wanna talk," Harry mumbled, bringing the blanket up to his mouth, muffling his words a bit as he spoke. "Sorry I woke you up, but I need to, I want to talk, okay? Is that okay? Not here though, can we go... I don't know, somewhere else?"

"Of course," Louis said without thinking. His mouth answered before he could make a decision, and he slipped into his well worn pair of Vans, his hands trembling a bit as he grabbed his hoodie.

"Where are we going?" Harry asked, following Louis down the hall after he'd locked up his dorm room.

"The courtyard- it's beautiful at night, I promise." Louis used to go out to the courtyard to light up with Michael, giggling about nothing until the sun came up.

The two walked side by side to the courtyard, Louis' hand naturally drifting toward Harry's before he pulled it away.

There was something ethereal about Harry in the moonlight, the way the pale glow softened his curls, caught a gentle glimmer about his skin even when he wasn't wearing makeup. His green eyes looked dark and round, and he walked out onto the grass peacefully, laying his blanket down and lying down in the middle of the empty courtyard, looking up at the stars.

"I haven't seen you in..." Louis started as he tentatively settled onto the blanket, not sure how much space he was supposed to leave between them when they were already so distanced.

"Five weeks," Harry finished. "I know."

"What have you been up to?" Louis asked, feeling a tightness in his chest as he scrambled to form a picture in his head of what Harry could have been up to for that amount of time. He just needed to know- needed to know he was okay, needed to know he was happy- Louis' steady heartbeats counted on it as their metronome.

"Therapy mostly," Harry said quietly. "Group therapy, grief counselling, stress management courses, individual therapy..." he sighed. "I'm done with the stress one now though- it was just a workshop- and the grief counselling was just for two sessions, so I'm basically doing to two hours a week right now and I want to get down to just one. And I'm taking these vitamins to balance things out a bit better, and aromatherapy for anxiety, and yoga," he smiled faintly. "Even got acupuncture to help with the nightmares... I've been pretty high maintenance lately, but I wanted to test everything out so I could learn how to take care of myself."

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