Wearing the Red Hood

Chapter 19

"I know you want to be alone right now," she whispered, looking down at her fidgeting hands. Her brown hair fell like a curtain and hid her face from me. "But I just wanted you to know that whatever you choose to do, whatever happens tomorrow, I won't blame you for it."

The silence that followed after she said those words was deafening. Why did she have to make it more difficult for me than it already was? Didn't she know that saying that would only make me choose to save Jared, even though I didn't want to? Razel still didn't look up at me, and I sighed loudly before unclenching my tightly balled fists.

"Come on," I told her, making her look up before I turned on my heel and continued away from the training room.

I heard her footsteps rushing after me before she stood to walk by my side. "Where are we going?" she asked curiously, peeking up at me.

I shrugged and actually found myself smiling. "To Burger King. If I'm dying for a second time tomorrow, I might as well have my favorite last meal before it happens."

Razel

I stopped short once Jason's words registered in my brain.

The thought that Jason might die tomorrow never crossed my mind when I asked him to help me save Jared. Because Jason was Jason. He seemed so invincible and strong. Taking note of my immobile form, Jason also stopped walking and turned to look at me with a frown. "What's wrong now?"

I opened my mouth to reply, wanting to beg him to just stay here and not go tomorrow, but I couldn't. If I did that, wouldn't I be sentencing Jared to death instead? So, what? You'll sacrifice Jason to save him? I groaned and my knees suddenly felt too weak to hold me up. I lowered myself to the floor, wanting to curl up in a ball 'til everything was over and done with. I was used to life and death situations, but this was completely different from the life and death situations I had to deal with as a doctor.

"Hey," Jason's voice reached my ears, sounding gentler and more worried than it was before. "Hey, Razel. Look at me."

I looked up from my crouched position on the floor to see Jason's brilliant green eyes flashing with concern as he knelt beside me. His warm hands came up to cup my face, and I closed my eyes at the feel of his skin against mine. "What's wrong?" he whispered.

"I don't want you to die," I admitted in a quivering voice, still not opening my eyes. I was afraid to look at his beautiful face and feel the fear that it might be the last time I actually saw him. "Don't go tomorrow. Please."

The words just poured out of me, before the thought of Jared once again flashed in my mind. I groaned out loud, utterly torn and confused by everything. "Razel, look at me," Jason ordered, but I shook my head. Great. I've actually lost my mind. I'm refusing to follow orders from Jason. "Damn it, Razel. Open those beautiful, brown eyes of yours and look at me."

Biting my lip, I shook my head once again. Beautiful. He called your eyes beautiful. But it's not going to work on persuading me to look at him. "Please," he begged, surprising me so much that I did open my eyes. Jason rarely pleaded for anything.

His face was inches away from mine, and his breath fanned my face, stirring my hair a little. Those brilliant green eyes of his bored into my brown ones, and I stopped breathing as I lost myself in them. "I don't want to die, either," he admitted, his brows furrowing. I wanted to reach out and smooth the crease between his forehead, but I was frozen in place. I was like a deer caught in the headlights whenever it came to Jason. "But I can't stay here and let Jared die, no matter how much I dislike him. Because we both know you may not blame me for it, but it's going to tear you up inside. And I don't want that to happen. I know what it's like to live with the guilt, Razel."