Domesticity

In which Fionna asks Marshall out

The next afternoon, when her shift ended, Fionna marched up to Marshall's apartment.
The sound of music was flowing out of the cracks in his door when she knocked, and a slightly annoyed looking Marshall answered. "Olivia, if you want your rent, you've gotta-- oh... Fionna."

"Hey. So... this whole Dessie-Jazz situation is pretty crazy, right?" She laughed nervously. "So... what happened on your end...?"
"Why?" He asked.
"Because I want to know both sides of the story."

"Well, I wasn't able to get much out of Jazz, beyond the fact that for whatever reason, she hates you now, and thinks you'll abandon us."
"What? That's crazy--"
"Fionna, she had a point. All my life, it's been one person leaving in whatever way after another. My mother neglected me. My guardian went insane. My girlfriend ran off with a roadie headed for Vegas and left our kid with me without even saying goodbye to her. What makes you any different?"

"I'm not planning on leaving you anytime soon, Marshall! And if you're scared of dating that much why did you let it progress this far?" Fionna demanded.
"Because I just came to this conclusion after my five-year-old wept in my arms and begged me not to date you!" Marshall snapped, before exhaling. "Was there anything else that you wanted, Fionna?"

"I was going to ask you out on a date..."
"I hope you can see why I'm going to decline." He scoffed.
She scowled at him and he slammed the door in her face. "Screw you for yanking my heart guts!" She yelled at the door.
"Screw you for the same!" He yelled through the door.

"You idiot! I told you up front I didn't want to play around!"
"That's not the same as abandonment, now is it?!"
"That's a very angry door you're arguing with there." A new voice commented.
FIonna jumped. "Oh, hi, Olivia."

The landlady swung her brown ringlets over her shoulder. "What happened, kid? Did the door insult your itty-bitty kid?"
"No, Marshall just... Marshall's just being a butt!" Fionna yelled at the door.
"Sticks and stones!" He yelled back.

"Stop insulting the door." Olivia recommended. "It's fixed to the wall, so it just stays there. But you want to know what I do when I need to get something off of my chest?"
"You set fire to an effigy of something?" Fionna guessed.
"Nah, too much work. I head upstairs and argue with Hedgeford. Just tell him you're a single mom, and the argument practically makes itself. Bonus points if you have a job that isn't 'women's work'."

"Thanks, but I don't feel like getting into another argument with another dill-weed." Fionna sighed.
"Wow, your insults are so insulting!" Marshall snorted through the door.
Fionna gritted her teeth. "I wasn't talking to you!"
"People rarely talk to doors." Olivia agreed. "Especially if they're rude."

The door was suddenly flung open. "What do you want, Olivia?" Marshall demanded.
"It's the 28th." She said innocently. "And the kid is at kindergarten, so you can't pull her out and play the 'you're putting my child out into the snow, how could you' card."
Marshall ground his teeth. "Well, I was in the middle of working, before someone interrupted me."

Fionna glared at him. "I at least tried to talk it out like an adult and hear both sides of the story!"
"The story is a couple of five year olds bickering!" Marshall hissed. "That's your story! The root of the matter is, Jazz isn't ready for me to date, so you're just going to have to deal with that!"
"You could have at least let me down easy!" Fionna growled.
Olivia looked down the stairs. "Oh hey. Did you two know why it's called 'kindergarten'?"

"Not now, Olivia!" Fionna and Marshall snapped, before resuming fighting.
Olivia walked down the steps to the two five year olds. "It literally translates into 'children yard' in German. I don't know, I basically used Google Translate anyway."
"Why are they fighting?" Desdemona asked in a small voice.
Olivia looked up at the adults. "I'm going to say... male insecurity? Nah, that's putting too much blame on Marshall. I blame the door."

"What does that mean?" Jazz demanded loudly.
"You have a very rude door in front of your apartment." Olivia said. "It has abandonment issues, so it pushes everyone away. Who wants ice cream?"

"I do, I do!" The girls clamored.
"Well, only friends get ice cream. So apologize and make up." Olivia commanded.
"No ice cream for me then." Jazz replied, starting to drift up the stairs.
Dessie fought back tears. "Me neither."
"I guess I'll just watch Power Heroine alone, then..." Olivia called after them. Neither little girl turned from their path. Jazz pushed past Marshall, and Dessie pulled Fionna away, long after the adults had gone quiet.

"Dessie, don't you want to--" Fionna began.
"No. Jazz is mean and I don't like her." Dessie sniffled.
Marshall narrowed his eyes at Dessie and Fionna, but eventually just closed his door.

"We don't need them." Jazz said in a tone that implied she was talking more to herself than Marshall. "Come on, Daddy. Let's play dinosaur."
"Not right now, Blues." Marshall sighed. "I need a new song for our set. Why don't you go... play with Olivia? Or hell, even Hedgeford."

Jazz stared up at her father. "But... okay. Later, though?"
"Yeah, later." Marshall smiled weakly, before throwing himself onto the couch. "Agh!"
"Why did you do that, Daddy? The couch is very hard, you know this." Jazz pointed out.
Marshall rubbed his shoulder where he had banged it on the couch. "Ugh... will you believe me if I say that I momentarily forgot because of my anger?"

Jazz considered this. "Yes."
"Okay, then. I just... I need some time to think about what just happened with Fionna and me, okay?"
"Okay." Jazz said softly. "But... she looked pretty angry with you."

"Yeah, she did. Don't worry, kid. I think I burned that bridge." Marshall smiled humorlessly, and Jazz returned the smile.