There was this little party going on at your house. It wasn't big, but it wasn't stupid too, you had to admit. Your friends arrived early and some random people came by too. At one moment you saw Jason, your neighbour, coming in. You smiled at him and he smiled back. But you could see his smile was weak, different. Like something was wrong.
And you weren't wrong. He had been drinking the whole evening and he was obviously drunk of his ass. There wasn't anybody looking out for him, which was kind of logical, since he was already grown up. But you were the only one who couldn't keep your eyes of of him. Not because he was hot, okay he was, but you could see the sadness in his eyes. The way he stared into the distance, like nobody was actually there. When he tried to stand up and walked outside you decided to follow him. "Don't go after him, he will be okay." you looked at Hanna and shook your head. "I need to do this. I will be back soon alright." you said and she nodded. You walked to the kitchen for a glass of water, before you walked outside. Jason was sitting on the porch, staring into the distance. It wasn't really easy to start talking to him. Since you weren't really friends or anything. But still you tried. "Hey." you said, with a weak smile. He looked up and sighed. "Hey, (Y/N)." you smiled when you heard your name. He knew your name. You walked up to him and sat down next to him. "Here, drink this." you said. He looked at the water and then took it all in. "Thank you, I think." he said, although it sound more like a whisper. You shrugged and moved closer to him. "Tell me what's wrong?" you said slowly. He looked up. Clearly suprised you cared about him. "Do you really want to know?" he asked. "Yeah, just tell me. Let it all out." you said. He wasn't really sure what to do or say. "C'mon. I know you've been feeling sad all evening and those beers aren't gonna help you." he smiled, but he know you were serious. "Jason, please." he looked up when he heard his name. You giggled. "Before I start.. Can I hold your hand, maybe?" you looked at your hand and shrugged. "Yeah alright." you giggled. He grabbed your hand and you felt him shaking. His hand was sweaty and you felt sad for him, without knowing what was actually happening. "Okay, well. You know my parents right?" you nodded. "I don't want you to get mad at them or anything. But they abuse me. I mean, if they think I'm annoying they will punish me." he sighed. "I'm a grown up man and I hate it so much. But my dad.. my dad always thinks I'm stupid or wrong and well, I can't stand that anymore. He will start punching me and hurting me." he sighed. "So you try to drink it away?" you asked. "Yeah." he bit his lip right after he said it. "Ever thought about telling somebody or defending yourself?" you asked softly. You didn't want him to get mad with the alcohol in his body. "No and yes. I'm too afraid and I try to punch him back. He's just stronger than me." The last words came out as a whisper. "I don't believe that. I believe you're a strong person." he smiled weakly at you. You sqeeuzed his hand, which was still shaking a little bit. "C'mon, stop shaking. We're gonna find a way to get you out of this. My mum wouldn't mind if you stay over sometimes." you grinned. "Really?" he asked. "Why not." you giggled. He smiled in relief and you rested your head on his shoulder, feeling your own heart beat raise. It just felt like a good thing to do.
"I don't know what to say, though. I mean, it's awful what's happening to you and I hate to hear it." you sighed. "And I want to help you.." you stopped talking, shook your head. "I'm not good at this." you sighed.
This time he squeezed your hand. "It's okay. I'm glad you decided to talk to me. Nobody ever cares about me." he said. You played with his hand, ticking on his fingers, turning it around and back again. You sat like that for a while, untill Jason had to go for a pee. It made you laugh, because he still couldn't really walk straight.
You didn't notice when he came back and his legs suprised you from behind. "Jason!" you screamed shocked, but then you start to giggle. His body was pushing against yours from behind. "C'mon, lay down, if you want. We can look at the stars together." you bit your lip, wondering how he became less drunk. "I took loads of water. I don't want to be a fool around you. You're so sweet to me." he explained, as if he knew you were thinking about it. "But that's okay, Jason. I mean, it's okay if you're a bit drunk. I don't mind." you laughed. You turned around to look into his teary green eyes. "I will lay with you." you said, as you bit your lip. You grabbed his arms, wrapped them around you as you rested your head on his chest. You felt the cold of his breathing and his lips, which for some reason always touched your skin when he talked. You laughed when he said something funny, you kept stroking his arms to make him feel save. You knew Hanna came around to make sure you were okay, but you knew she left when she saw the two of you. You just felt she had seen it, because you heard random people coming to the door, watching the two of you. But you didn't mind. It was nice right there, in that moment. You weren't exactly sure why you were so close. Maybe it was because he needed it. Or maybe you just liked the attention from a boy for once. Maybe you just wanted to make him feel save, loved. You didn't exactly knew, but that also didn't matter.
You sat up and turned around. "I don't know what we're doing." you laughed. He smiled, the tears in his eyes were gone, a little twinkle appeared instead. "I don't know either." he whispered. You leaned forward, wrapped your legs around his waist and kissed him. Your hands found his hair and you closed your eyes. He smelt and tasted like beer, but he knew how to kiss. Damn, he knew exactly how to kiss. You felt his hands on your back, slowly stroking it. You were going way too much into this kiss. You backed away out of breath, but also a bit confused. "I don't know if.." you said, but you didn't knew what you wanted to say. You liked it? So why be confused about it. "You don't know if this is the right thing to do?" he said, making you look up. You shrugged. "I know it seems strange. We barely know eachother. And I know it may seem like I seeked for attention just to kiss you. But that's not true." he looked at the sky, before he continued. "You're just so sweet and nobody ever did that for me and I don't know. You make me warm up inside and you make me smile and again, I know we barely know eachother. But maybe it's better to know eachother better when I sleepover. And maybe it's better if.. I keep you close." he bit his lip and smiled weakly. "I want to keep you close." he whispered. You smiled. "I know you didn't want to kiss me for that reason, I was the one who leaned in anyway." he laughed. "Okay, but.." - "But you're right." you smiled. He softly pulled you closer and your foreheads touched eachother. You closed your eyes, as shy as you were. You felt his hand on your cheek and kissed your nose. You opened your eyes and he laughed. You didn't even need to talk. It felt okay this way.
It was stupid to realise though, that the boy who maybe could became your boyfriend, lived one house away. But sometimes it took you longer to realise.
Jason pushed himself to the side of the porch to lean into the wooden side. You layed down on his body, your cheek resting on the left side of his chest. His chin softly rested on top of your hair as you both watched the stars. The music was playing in the background and you knew in your mind your house was gonna be a mess tomorrow. But that was perfectly fine. Everything was perfectly fine for now. You heard Jasons heart beat raise and you grabbed his hand to make him calm down. "Thank you, for tonight." he said shy. "It's not a problem. Really." you answered. "We can get through this right?" you asked. "I think as long as I'm with you, then yes, we can."
