Fences

Chapter Eleven: Kick Me

Bucky was halfway up the stairs when his father grabbed his arm painfully tight and yanks it back. Bucky yips and falls back. His father kicks his feet and tells him to get up. Steve tries to get between them but Bucky puts a hand up and gives him a look of warning. His father drags him to his office, Bucky stumbling behind.

"You know what you've done." His father growls.

"I do actually. I've finally found the courage to stop being your puppet." He snaps. His father hits him and he falls sideways.

"You've ruined everything with your stupidity!" His father shouts, pulling him to his feet by his hair.

"I've finally been true to myself!" Bucky shouts back. He gets out of his fathers grip and his father shakes strands of Bucky's hair out of his hand calmly.

"You ungrateful little shit!" His father barks and slams him into the wall. "We give you everything you've ever wanted and this is how you treat us! Fucking ungrateful shit." He roars. Bucky slams his head into his father's nose and goes to run but his father is faster. His father's meaty hands wrap around Bucky's pale throat. Bucky claws at his father's hands struggling to catch even a small gasp of air. "You're an ungrateful, worthless, little shit. You don't deserve everything I've given you." George snarls, wrapping his hands tighter around Bucky's throat. Bucky struggles to get away but his vision was clouding and he was close to passing out.

He woke up. He wasn't at home. As his vision started to come into better focus he realized he was in a hospital. Each breath hurt and as he looked around his eyes locked with Steve's.

"Hey." He whispers. Bucky smiles and tries to reply. The noise he makes doesn't even sound like a word.

"Shhh. Don't speak." He sighs. "Your father said he let you go but that one of the servants had something to show you. I thought you were dead."

"There wasn't a servant." He croaks and Steve frowns. "My dad choked me." He explains, his voice cracking, barely more than a whisper. Steve's eyes go wide.

"Has he hurt you before?" Steve asks and Bucky nods slightly.

"Got worse when we moved to the White House." He mumbles. Steve grabs his hand.

"That's horrible." Steve whispers. "Does your mother know?"

"She doesn't care." He croaks.

"You should rest." Steve sighs. Bucky nods and does just that.

The bruises began fading in a few weeks and he stayed at a beach house of theirs after he was released. Bucky wanders down to the water and sits. He'd messed up. What's he supposed to do now? Steve helps him to his feet.

"You've been out here for almost an hour. Lunch is ready." Steve wraps an arm around his waist. Steve hadn't been fired yet but they both knew it was coming.

"I'm not hungry." Bucky says, following him inside.

"I let you skip breakfast but you need to eat babe." Steve sighs, kissing the side of his head. Bucky sighs and sits down at the table. He picks up Tony's tablet and goes to the news. He catches Steve tense out of the corner of his eye but he doesn't stop. He was still the headlines of multiple talk shows and articles and popular magazines. Headlines like Gay Barnes comes out. Barnes' suicide attempt? Possible ex boyfriend? Assassination attempt on Barnes' life? Bucky puts the tablet down sighing. He rubs his eyes before looking at Steve. He eats the macaroni Steve gave him, it was really good. Steve kisses the top of his head. Bucky's voice still occasionally cracked since he'd been released from the hospital and it cracked when he thanked Steve. Steve sighs quietly and sets down a bowl of macaroni for himself. Bucky picks at his bowl for a while before actually eating some.

"How are you feeling today?" Natasha asks, sitting down beside him on the couch.

"Could be better." He shrugs. Natasha nods understandingly.

"I'm going back. I need to get my stuff." He looks at Steve who sat across from him. The blonde tenses at the thought of Bucky returning to the White House.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Tony asks, looking out the window rather than at him.

"I'm not fucking helpless!" He snaps, months of pent up frustration with himself finally breaking free.

"I didn't say that kid." Tony sighs.

"But it's there. You guys don't think I can handle myself." He growls.

"Calm down James." Natasha tries.

"I won't! I shouldn't have to. You guys are just like my father. I'm never good enough am I?" He hisses before out into the rain. He just walks down the beach with no clear destination. He was already soaked and cold, the wind blows strongly making him shiver. He stares out at the ocean watching the waves crash against the shore then rush up to his feet. He shivers and swallows, he hadn't meant to get angry at them, he really hadn't. He picks up a rock and throws it out at the water. The waves destroyed any trace of the rock the second it started sinking. Bucky swallows thickly and drops to the ground. The sand was wet and the water was seeping into his jeans but he suddenly couldn't breathe. Everything he's done to keep the real him out of the media was gone. He'd destroyed everything he's ever worked hard to protect. He couldn't breathe. He curls in on himself. He does a breathing exercise Steve had taught him. He feels Steve's hands grounding him. He leans into him, murmuring apologies over and over again until he was pretty sure he wasn't making sense any more. Steve holds him close before picking him up and carrying him back to the house. Safe in Steve's arms Bucky lets his eyes fall shut and welcomes the darkness with open arms.