Fences

Chapter Ten: Go To Hell For Heaven's Sake

Bucky leaves the nearly empty bottle of vodka on the balcony as Steve drags him inside to the couch. Bucky leans forward and kisses him. A bit sloppily, tasting vodka and cinnamon mixed with apples. Steve starts to kiss back then he pulls away quickly and shakes his head.

"You're drunk." Steve sighs and sits him on the couch.

"I love you." Bucky replies. Steve shakes his head.

"You're just saying that because you're drunk Bucky." Steve sighs. Bucky shakes his head.

"I love you Steve and it's not because I'm drunk. I love you because you're the only one who actually seems to care about me as a person. Of everyone in the entire White House you know me best. I'm not lying." Bucky admits. Steve shakes his head.

"But you don't love me Bucky. I know that I stayed up with you sometimes late at night when you couldn't sleep and yeah we got to know each other. But you don't love me Bucky." Steve argues. Bucky shakes his head this time.

"I love you Steve. Why can't you just accept that? Why do you have to tell me I'm not in love with you when I know I am?" He chokes out the words.

"Because if we love each other then this makes things really complicated. You don't need anymore complications in your life." Steve answers. Placing a hand on his knee. Bucky looks at him with eyes full of unshed tears.

"Do you love me though?" Bucky whispers. Steve nods.

"Yes. Yes I love you Bucky." Steve admits. Bucky kisses him passionately and Steve kisses back. Bucky only pulls away every few minutes to catch his breath before he goes back to kissing Steve. After a while he rests his head on Steve's shoulder.

"You know, I started falling in love with you that night in the yard. When you asked me what made me happy." Bucky whispers. Steve smiles slightly.

"I don't know when I started falling in love with you. Maybe it was that first time you asked me to keep you company." Steve whispers into his ear. Bucky smiles.

"I'm going to go against my father tomorrow. I told you I'm not going down without a fight and I'm not." He whispers. Steve kisses his forehead.

"You should drink some water them sleep so you're not completely hungover tomorrow evening." Steve tells him. Bucky nods.

"Stay. Please." He asks, looking up at him with wide eyes. Steve nods and sits beside him. Bucky falls asleep with his head on Steve's lap.

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The stylists came around noon and though Bucky's head luckily wasn't killing him it still hurt like a bitch.

Bucky caught Steve's eye in the mirror and his mouth turned up a little at the corner. Steve smiles back. The evening comes too soon. Bucky stands at Natasha's side in a pitch black suit with a blood red tie. Something about his hollow features and Cheshire Cat smile made him truly terrifying.

"I'm planning something really stupid." He informs her.

"Everything you do is stupid." She teases.

"Yeah, well then this is just flat out dumb." He answers, spotting his father in the crowd.

"Good luck." She whispers into his ear.

"Thanks. I'll need it." He sighs. He wraps his arm around her waist and she smiles slightly. He takes her to the dance floor and the dance for a few songs before Bucky sees his father near the stage. He kisses Natasha's hand and she slaps his rear as he turns away. He shakes his head smiling as he approaches the stage. He goes up the stairs. He'd caught a few peoples attention but not everyone was looking at him. He signals for the band to stop and grabs the mic stand.

"Hello." He speaks and everyone turns to look at him, some people confused, some of Bucky's friends watched knowingly while his father watched flummoxed. "I don't have to introduce myself 'cause you already know who I am. But that's not true. You know my name but you don't truly know me." He explains, he could see all the peoples that were covering the ball turn on their cameras and start to film.

"You see, I don't know how many of you remember what I was like when I came to the White House. But I look back and I wish I was still that same shy kid. But I'm not. I was forced to become a person everyone wanted me to be, a perfect child. But fuck that 'cause nobody's perfect. I know that better than most. I honestly couldn't tell you when James Barnes died and when the thing I am now replaced him. You'd never be able to tell my real smile from my fake." He begins, Natasha smiles widely up at him but his father looked appalled.

"I'm gay. You didn't know that did you. I'd rather be in my room right now than here with all you people. I hate politics and I don't know what makes me happy because I've been forced to go to school for politics. I've never been allowed to do what I want in terms of my careers. But you know what, that's okay. Why shouldn't it be? I never wanted to become the president's son. I never wanted to leave our shitty little house in Brooklyn. I never wanted to be known." He tells them, he could see nearly everyone trying to process what he's saying but his father looked ready to kill him.

"You're gay? Are you dating someone?" A lady asks from by a cameraman. Bucky looks over at Steve who steps forward.

"Yeah. Me." Steve calls, pushing through the crowd. Bucky's father looks horrified. Steve joins him on stage.

"This is Steve. He's my body guard and my boyfriend." Bucky introduces. Steve smiles and wraps his arm around Bucky small waist.

"You see, I'm not the perfect poster boy everyone knows. I'm not sure anyone knows the real me. I'm going to change that though. No more pretending. No more faking. The real me." He tells the audience. Nat whistles while Thor whoops and Loki claps. The room bursts into noise and chaos, Bucky and Steve slip away.