Dedicated to an anonymous user.
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Me: I'm bleeding
Friend: ummm....are you ok?
Me: yeah I got an extreme paper cut
Me: it hurts like crap
Friend: ...
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*May be offensive to some users*
Friend: Omg guess what
Me: MY FUNERALS TOMORROW???
Friend: No mine is stop stealing my dates
Me: I PLANNED IT FIRST
Friend: No I planned this since the day I was born, do you not understand?
Me: I PLANNED IT IN THE WOMB!!
Friend: Anyways this isn't where I was planning to go
Me: fine
Friend: you know who my crush is right?
Me: which one?
Friend: what do you mean
Me: like which one the one in like math or the blond one in English or the one in like science?
Friend: not the math guy, and which blond? Idk...
Me: IDK SCREW YOU HITLER
Friend: h*ll hitler
Me: AGAIN SCREW YOU HITLER!!
Friend: *heil
Me: hell was better
Friend: what's this all got to do with hitler?
Me: parmesan
Friend: same I like cheese
Me: I MEANT NOTHING!
Friend: NOTHING DOES NOT CHANGE TO PARMESAN YOU LIL POOP!
Me: WELL IT DID SO IDK LIFE
Friend: Maybe autocorrect is on crack... Or marijuana
Me: probably
Friend: Shame... What did all the paper for our schools spirit week go to then?!?? Why did all those trees die for?!??
Me: they died for Parmesan...
Me: NOTHING GOD DAMMIT NOTHING!!!
Friend: OMG HAHAHAHAHA
Me: THEY DIED FOR NOTHING!!
