I Need You.

Chapter 1.

The funeral was the worst part. People would go up to Dean and act sympathetic towards him. They would say bullshit things like "I'm so sorry for your loss." and "They're in a better place now." A nice pat on the back telling the green eyed boy everything was going to be okay when really it wasn't. They never did understand how it felt to loose the two most important people in there lives.

Dean sat on the pews of the church staring at the 2 coffins in front of him. He clutched onto the amulet that hung around his neck. People would sit next to him and say encouraging words but Dean never really noticed. His eyes never left the coffins. After hours and hours of sitting he finally stood up making his way to the first coffin.

A young blonde woman laid still in the casket. Dean leaned over the coffin and he kissed her forehead as his hands began to tremble. He caressed her cheek softly and fixed her dress. "Remember when I was sick and you would make me tomato rice soup?" He asked quietly as the tears threatened to spill down his cheeks. "And when you would sing Hey Jude to me as a lullaby?" He laughed quietly as he grabbed her hand. "I'm sorry mom." He whispered as he brought her hand to his lips kissing it softly.

Dean turned away and walked to the smaller coffin. A pale 13 year old boy laid in the casket, stiff as a rock. Dean stood next to it as he looked down to his brother. "I never got the chance to say any of this," he started off as the tears slipped down his face. "I'm real proud of you Sammy." He said with a smile on his face. He ruffled the boy's hair as he began to tremble. "You were real smart kid. You were going places," Dean managed to get out through his sobs. "You were going to Stanford. You were going to become a lawyer and marry a nice girl and have kids-"

Dean stopped as he continued to cry. He couldn't stop the tears as he fell to his knees. He held onto the coffin as his body shook. "It's like I had one job. I had one job and I screwed it up." Dean paused as he wiped his eyes standing back up. "I blew it. And for that, I'm sorry. I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down. And now I guess I'm just supposed to let you down, too. How can I? How am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do? Sammy. God. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do?!" He screamed as the tears flew down his face blinding his vision.

Dean felt arms wrap around him as he slowly crouched down "It's okay boy." The man whispered. Bobby. Dean shook violently as the tears ran down his face.

"It should have been me." He whispered over and over again wishing it was true.

*ONE YEAR LATER*
CASTIEL POV.

Cas stiffly sat down in the bare office. He folded his hands in his lap and quietly chewed his lip as Doctor Masters entered the room.

"Good morning Castiel," She started off taking a seat at the big desk. She pulled out a notepad and a pen looking to the blue eyed boy. "How are you feeling today Castiel? Has it gotten worse?" She asked.

Cas hesitated before nodding as he looked to his hands. "This morning was bad. I remember not wanting to get up."

"Get up of bed?" She asked squinting her eyes.

"I didn't want to get up period. I just," Cas began to trail off sighing.

"Castiel are you saying you wanted to stop living?" Cas looked up to her and met her eyes.

"I'm afraid I might kill myself" He stated, his gaze never left her eyes. She wrote down a few things before turning her attention back to him.

"Why is that?" She asked. Cas thought back and looked down.