Between Heaven and Hell || Destiel

Chapter One

So the world hadn't ended after all. Cas was back, Sam was gradually getting better and life for Dean Winchester just couldn't get much more good than that. Sure, maybe they weren't hunting or really doing much of anything now that he thought about it, but Dean was happy. Completely content with his broken little family. For the most part at least...

"He refuses to come out again, Dean." Sam sighed while pouring himself a cup of green hippie tea, "I'm worried about him."

"Damn it." Dean, who had only come out to nab a cup of joe, paused his search for a mug. He met Sam's concerned gaze and knew that his brother wouldn't be letting it go until something was done. "Alright, alright. I'll go get him."

Personally Dean thought that they should give Cas some breathing room. But maybe Sam was right, it was pretty obvious after all that Cas had been avoiding them these last few days. It must be hard to go from badass angel to human so unceremoniously. More than hard, it must be downright earth shattering.

But Dean didn't do nurturing. He loved taking care of people who needed help but he wasn't exactly vocal about it. What could he even do for Cas anyways? He knew that if he was in the guy's shoes he probably wouldn't want any company, but sometimes it doesn't matter what you want. It matters what Cas needs and according to Sam, what he needs is a friend.

Before he left the kitchen, he got himself his coffee plus a cup of hippie tea for Cas. It was one of the only things that Cas would even consider putting in his mouth when he first got here. Something about it being less 'loud' than coffee, whatever that means.

They had given Cas a spare bedroom close to Dean's and near the library so either of them would be within hearing distance. It rarely opened. Even now when Dean knocks on the door there, not surprisingly, is no answer.

"Hey man...I brought you some tea. Thought it would be good if you came out and joined us, yeah?" He knows that no one is going to reply so he turns the knob and enters anyway. Inside, the room is plain with a simple pale green color scheme. It wouldn't even look lived in if it wasn't for the hunched form underneath the blankets.

"Buddy, you okay?" Dean asked creeping forward in the dark room. He set down their drinks and turned on a lamp so he could better assess the situation.

God, Cas looked bad. He looked like a withered version of himself, with scruff and deep bags under his eyes. Cas didn't make any indication that he had heard or seen Dean enter but he was awake.

"You can't ignore me forever, man. Sam is worried about you...I mean we both are, yah know? When's the last time you ate something?" Dean spotted a half empty package of stale saltines on the right night table, "real food?"

Cas sighed quietly. Everything he did was quiet nowadays. "Thank you for the tea, Dean." He sat up slowly and adjusted himself to be leaning against the headboard but made no move towards the tea or make any reference to Dean's question.

Even sitting up he was still awkwardly hunched over, positioned so only his lower back made any connection with the headboard. Dean had never noticed how little space Cas actually took up. He wondered if Cas had always been that small or if the lack of Angel mojo had something to do with it.

"Stop it." Cas interrupted Dean's thoughts.

"Stop what?"

"Stop looking at me like I'm going to fall apart at any moment. Please." Cas whispered while staring down at his hands.

Dean sighed and sat on the edge of the bed next to him. "I hate to be the one to break it to yah man, but this?" he gestured around the room and to Castiel's crumpled form, "This is you falling apart. Hell, this is you crashing and burning."