Being Human

La Citta Eterna

Chapter 10

La Citta Eterna[1]

       We trudged downstairs towards the living room. The first floor was enveloped in darkness. Only the lightning provided bursts of light across the carpeted floor of the hallway, and the infrequent, scary surges of light that were accompanied by a rumble of thunder. But I failed to notice my nervousness of the sounds and the lights they cast; I was too worried about Emile. For the first time in many, many years that we have been friends, it was only on this night that I had seen him look perfectly miserable.

       The carpet muffled any sound we made. As we entered the living room, Emile flicked his finger and cheerful flames appeared on the fireplace, promptly filling the then-dark room with light and warmth. It was so ironic; here we were in a sad and (at least on my part) nervous state, yet the room we were in just seemed to hum with life.

       Emile sat on the hearth. His hands were clasped together under his chin, his eyes focused on the flames. In the firelight the greenness of his eyes were diminished. “Sit down, Louis,” he said quietly, not looking at me.

       I apprehensively sat down on the hearth, too, but I sat a few ways apart from him. He chuckled sadly as he noticed the distance between us. “I’m sorry I scared you like that, Louis. I assure you I won’t do that again,” he said, beckoning me closer.

       I scooted closer to him. There was a moment of awful silence for a long time. I decided to break it by saying, “You don’t have to explain anything, you know.”

      “Yes, I do,” he said heavily. He hadn’t moved his hands at all. “There is no excuse for what I did moments ago.”

      “I shouldn’t have tried to draw Megan…I’m sorry…”

      “How would you know not to do anything if nobody had told you?”

      “Common sense, I guess.”

      “There is no common sense in that situation, Louis. You didn’t know anything about my past. How can you be sorry for what you don’t know?”

       The flames crackled, burning the logs as we watched. “Listen, Louis. I never told anyone about this, and I never want to speak of this again. The mere memory of it drives me to madness…and as you saw for yourself, it breaks my heart more than anything else could,” Emile said sadly.

         “I will never tell anyone.”

         “That is rather useless, you know.”

         I fell silent again.

         “To begin this sad tale, let me explain to you some things. Have you ever wondered why you are so inclined to be human, to be a part of this race?” When I shook my head, he continued, “This is not always true for all cases, though, but for you, it’s because once upon a time, you were human too.”

        I gaped at him. “But I don’t remember anything about once being a human.”

       “You don’t, indeed. It’s because you died at childbirth, Louis. Your dear mother gave birth to you, after several hours of labor, and yet by some cruel twist of fate…you didn’t make it. You almost made it. But then, fata viam invenient[2]. Fate found a way to do its task somehow. They are cruel, but they do what they must.

        “Don’t resent them for it, Louis,” he said, watching me. “There is nothing anyone can do about it; it is now done. And so as you were brought to heaven, Father assigned an angel to take care of you until you made your choice.”