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VIII - "what if's"

What was one supposed to do after the person you fell in love with, a person who is untouchable by hundreds suddenly came into your house and saved you?
What where you supposed to do as you bid him goodbye, not knowing if you will ever get to see him again? Are you supposed to forget about it? Consider this your first and last chance to be able to get this personal with him and share with him personal stories? Move on and thank your lucky stars for even giving you this chance?
Well Natali didn't know what to do either as she slid down with her back against the closed door. She hunched over taking a deep sigh and cradling her knees in her arms. She felt a mixture of emotions and she didn't know which one was the stronger one. The misery of having to retell the story of how her divorced life came to be, or bidding Jongin goodbye for possibly the last time in her life Because let's face it, who would want to continue anything with her after what just happened?
She has this unknown feeling that's eating at her from the insides. An overwhelming exhilaration pumped through her veins and pounded at her chest every time she recalls him calling her beautiful. But then a sense of desperation overcomes her as she realizes she'll probably never get to hear those words come out his mouth ever again.
And honestly, why would he call her beautiful? Out of pity? She didn't know but there was a pang in her heart that caused her pain, because how will she be certain that he actually ment it?
She touched her finger, in the spot that their hands accidentally touched and smiled to herself. She still felt the sensation in her from the sudden contact. Even if it was just for a moment, she felt the warmth of his skin against her always cold fingers and that feeling of delight could heal every heart pain she has ever felt.

"MOOOOOMMMMYYYYYY"

Natali's thoughts came to a halt as she heard her little princess's cry for help from the scary monsters in her room. She swiftly got up and walked to Kaili's room, occasionally looking back at the door behind her, wondering why she didn't run up to him and poured her heart out to him, and whilst opening the door to her daughter's room, she remembered why. There she saw a little girl sitting up promptly on her bed surrounded by her Teddy bear fort. Natali doesn't have time to fantasize about what could've been if she said something, because to her, she was just another fan in his eyes. The only thing that was able to bring them together, even if it was just for a moment, was the fact that she was in trouble. Other then that, she saw no reason for him to want to stay with her. She couldn't afford to fantasize like she did when she was once 18. She had a real life to live, responsibilities, and a scared little daughter afraid of monsters (who drink poison) to protect. This was her life now, not her fantasies, after all, the real world is the reason as to why she had stopped writing her unread letters to Jongin in the first Place.

Jongin on the other hand couldn't stop thinking about her; about her situation, about all his unanswered questions, everything. She looked so young, but so much has happened to her, I mean after all, she's been through one marriage, one divorce, and has one child. How old is she? But the question that ran through his mind the most, the one he should have asked since the beginning: what's her name? Her name. It's a simple question, part of an introduction. Her identity, and yet, he didn't even get that. Upon arriving to his home, climbing up the stairs to his room he kept beating himself for not asking. So he silently slid under the comfort of his sheets and told himself tomorrow you'll meet her again, tomorrow you'll get her name. Starting tomorrow you'll become a part of her life. The feeling was so new to him, why did he desire so strongly to be a part of her life when he doesn't know anything about her?
Simple.
Because for three days he couldn't sleep without wondering what kind of person she is, and now he's finally able to close his eyes reassured with knowing that he at least knows where she is now, determined to find out more about her.
Both people who live in two different worlds, one who lives in the world where there are cameras always flashing, and crowds call his name, and the other who lives the life of a single mother, trying to be everything she could be for her daughter. Very different in every way.

"Mommy?"
"Yes my precious?"
Kaili looked up at her mom as she patted her soflty on the back to help her fall asleep, "are you mad I call Jongin oppa?"
"Mad?" Her eyes looked curiously at her daughter, "no, a little surprised, but not mad", she pushed strands of Kaili's hair behind her ear and kissed the very top of her forehead, "I even ended up having a lovely conversation with him, and that's more then I could ever ask for"
Seeing how Kaili wasn't going to fall asleep easily on her own, Natali slipped under the covers of her daughters small bed and huddle into a ball cradling her baby girl, wanting to protect her from all the monsters.

Is this even a love story? Who knows.
But one thing is for sure, they both on this night, put their heads' down on a pillow and drift off to sleep while thinking about all the "what if's".

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A/N:

HAHAHAHAHAHA Wwow I suck at keeping this story updates and alive I'm sorry ):
But with work and life I've been extremely busy.
But I hope you can enjoy what I have written son.
See you on the next chapter update ♡