iridescent :: tyler joseph

fourteen

"Okay," was all I said as Tyler closed him truck door and headed for the store. It didn't take long for me to bury my face and my hands and let out everything I was hiding.

I held on to my hair as I let out my streams of hot tears. I felt helpless.

It felt like forever until Tyler came back and suprisingly I was crying even harder than before. I tried to suck it all in and wipe my warm face as I saw him come out of the exit. He held two bags full of what looked like clothes.

As soon as he spotted me frantically wiping my eyes, he ran across the parking lot.

"Bri!" he called as I unlocked the door for him. I regretted letting him see me like this yet again.

He was too nice for his own good and I didn't deserve him.

"I'm sorry," I replied, holding back another fit of tears. He swung my door open and clutched onto me.

"What's really wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Tyler," I replied, crying into his neck. "you're just going to leave me. I'm too much to handle."

"Bri," he protested, stroking my hair. "do you remember that deal we made when we first met?"

I nodded, our heads rubbing against eachother.

"We agreed to not hold back. Please trust me, it's all I want from you." he said, choking up. I felt like shit for making his voice break.

"Okay," I replied, giving into him. We broke the hug to look eachother in the eye.

He smiled at me as a single tear ran down his cheek. He removed one of his hands from his shoulder to wipe it away.

Then, he placed it back on my cheek and crashed his lips into mine. I felt a wave of comfort wash over me as our lips molded.

He pulled away, his crooked teeth grazing my bottom lip softly. I smiled as he placed his forehead on mine.

"I bought some comfy clothes for you. They're way too big but they were on sale." he smiled, making me chuckle. I pecked his lips once more before taking the plastic bag of clothes from his hand.

"We can sit in the backseat and talk for however long you need to once you're changed." he added, turning away to give me my changing space. I climbed into the backseat as I tugged my shorts off and slipped on a loose pair of cotton sweatpants that had to fit Tyler. I tore off my big shirt, leaving me in my bra. Self-conciously, I looked into the rearview mirror to see Tyler's eyes on me.

"Hey," I called, covering my chest with the yellow shirt Tyler bought. "no peeking!"

"Not like I haven't seen your boobs before." he smartly said, making me giggle.

I opened up the shirt and bursted into a fit of laughter.

He bought me a damn Minion shirt.

I pulled it over my head, rolling my eyes at him once more. I climbed back into the frontseat, plopping down across from Tyler.

It felt really good to be in fresh clothes so I thanked Tyler before latching our fingers together.

I loved holding hands with him. The simplest interaction brought millions of different kinds of feelings to the pit of my stomach.

I propped myself up on the elbow rest, staring at Tyler's face with through my long eyelashes. I had only just noticed he'd changed clothes too, wearing a loose dark grey T-shirt.

"My dad left us when I was 6," I bluntly said, catching Tyler's attention. He didn't say anything, but his eyes told me to keep going.

"he said he was going on a business trip, and he never came back. I was young so I never thought it was my fault until I got a little bit older and my mom started drinking." Tyler listened, giving me a sad smile and resting his hand on my thigh as I spoke.

"By the time I was 8, my mom was crying, drunk in her bedroom almost everyday. When she wasn't, she was out doing God knows what. Jason, my older brother, was our father figure at only 13 years old. He ended up becoming so stressed one day that he lashed out on me and I never asked for his help again."

I noticed my eyes starting to fill with tears. I didn't want to keep going and let something slip, but I couldn't stop.

"I was hospitalized twice during my teenage years and my mom has been in excruciating debt since. I haven't spoken to her since my 18th birthday, the night I ran far away. I was hospitalized again a while before I met Josh, but that's a different story."

"What were you hospitalized for?"

I didn't want him to know. I wanted to say I just had a bad case of the flu or something, but I think he knew I wasn't medically hospitalized at this point.

"Suicide attempt."

The words slipped off of my tongue like venom and I felt for Tyler when I said that. I wish I didn't have to tell him anything about my past, but he deserved the right to know after everything he's done for me.

He didn't say anything, he just pulled me in for the strongest hug since he heard my phone call with Jason. His strong arms wrapped around my frame and squeezed me until I felt alive. I hugged him back with equal force, crying into the nape of his shirt.

"We met at such a bad time, Tyler. I wish I could fall in love with you and be happy and not cry into your neck everyday."

He pulled away from the hug, giving me the saddest look I'd ever seen on his face.

"You still can, Bri. I know it's hard but we're helping eachother so much and I don't want that to disapear."

"What if I lose you? What if one day you decide I'm too screwed up for you and you could be with a fucking supermodel with a loving family and lots of money? What if you don't want to be with the girl who let a hookup ruin what little of a life she had left? Tyler you can have anyone in the world, why are you settling for me? I'm no good for you-"

"I'm fucking in love with you!"

My heart dropped.

"I'm not dating a supermodel because I don't want to! I want you and only you! I want all of you and if that comes with helping you constantly, I'll gladly take it! Sure, you're fucked up and you've been through things that nobody should ever have to face, but I have too. And yeah, maybe we haven't known eachother for too long, but I feel like it's been forever." he protested, cupping my tear stained cheek in his cold palm. He brushed away a tear with his scarred thumb, making me tremble.

"I love you and everything that comes with you; good or bad." he added before smashing his lips into mine. It was rushed and passionate as my hands immediately found my way to his hair and my fingers got lost in the fluffy wavy mess.

His hand gripped the small of my back as we tangled together. Not breaking the kiss, I struggled over the elbow rest and I strattled Tyler's lap, pulling myself closer to him.

He pulled away quickly to attack my neck with his swollen lips, making me inhale sharply.

"Tyler?" I croaked.

"Hmm," he hummed against my skin.

"I love you too."