Lost Boy

Two

ALEXIAS POV

"I love you" Michael mutters as he kisses my neck. "I love you so much"

He continues to pepper my neck in kisses as I just sit there, after a while tilting my head to give him better access. This goes on for a while, and it's fine, until he goes to pull off my shirt.

"Michael" I mutter and he keeps trying to pull up my shirt "Michael stop!"

He keeps kissing my neck and trying to pull up my shirt and I shove him off.

"I said stop!"

"Goddamn it Lex!" He yells, jumping up from my bed and running his hand through his hair. "Why do you always stop and chicken out!"

"I-I can't!" I tell him, tears starting to well in my eyes.

"Oh my god." Michael yells "This is about Calum again isn't it!"

"N-no" I stutter, trying to avoid looking him in the eye. Michael lets out a frustrated groan and walks towards me quickly, grabbing my chin and forcing me to look into his eyes.

"I'm going to ask again, okay?" He seethes through gritted teeth "is this about Calum?"

I look into his normally calm green eyes that are darkened with anger. I can't lie to him anymore. I simply nod.

Michael lets go of my chin and pulls away.

"I'm done. I can't do this anymore. You left him for me Alexia. I didn't force you to leave him. YOU left him. It was YOUR decision. And if he's missing it's YOUR fault. He's been gone for a year now! Let it go! Move on with your life! Calum was my best mate and I miss him too but I've accepted that he's gone. You need to do the same and stop letting him control your life!" He screams, before grabbing his jacket, phone and keys from my desk and crossing to my door. I just sit there and listen to his harsh words, feeling my heart break a little more with everything he says.

"I'm done Alexia. I can't do this anymore. This whole relationship is based off of your missing ex-boyfriend and I'm sick of it! Let's me know when you get over him." He announces before storming out of my room.

I wait until I hear the front door slam before I burst into tears. I cry and cry and cry until I feel like there are no tears left to cry. I haven't cried since Calum disappeared and it felt good to let it out. To let go of all the stress and the pain. To move on.

Except I can't move on. Calum was my everything. And I was the one who made the mistakes. And I need to start fixing the mistakes I made and the mess I caused.

I decided a long time ago that when I finally faced reality I would fix things with Luke first. And so I pull out my phone and search through my contacts for the familiar name. When I find it, I hit the call button without a moments hesitation.

I tap my fingers against my bedside stand as I wait for him to pick up. I wait for an eternity before he finally answers.

"Hello?" He asks, his voice husky and deeper than I remembered.

"Hey Lukey" I mumble "It's Alexia"

"Alexia?" He asks "as in Lexi? As in my stepsister Lexi?"

"Yeah" I tell him "I just wanted to talk to you. I missed you"

There's a long pause on the other end of the line.

"It's been a year Lexi. I've been worried about you. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Lukey" I reassure him "I'm still a bit lost, but I'm starting to make sense of things again. I just wanted to fix things with you again first."

"I'm proud of you Lexi!" Luke exclaims, happiness creeping into his voice "But I've had a long time to think. I've discussed this with Michael an-"

"Michael and I aren't really on speaking terms anymore." I mumble, cutting him off.

"Lexi, Michael called me the second he left your house. This was his idea actually. As I was saying, we think you might get some closure if you maybe had a look at the letter Calum left you. It might help you move on."

My eyes widen at Luke's words. I think about the letter everyday, but I haven't yet considered what was in it. I guess, in some ways, I'm scared it's his suicide note. And I don't want to have to read that.

"You guys think it'll help me understand?" I question, getting up from my best and making my way to my dresser, sliding open the top left hand draw and reaching inside until my fingers brush against the soft, smooth paper of the envelope. I pull it out with shaking hands, nervous, but at the same time excited.

"I think it will. I really do. Give it a shot Lexi. You never know until you try" he tells me before hanging up the phone.

I pull the phone away from my ear and toss it onto my bed, twirling the white envelope between my two index fingers. My name is neatly scrawled along the front and I turn it over looking at the crease which has been nearly sealed shut.

With shaking hands, I reach to the top of the envelope and slowly begin to tear the envelope open. I take it slow and steady, scared that I won't like what's inside. But eventually, the envelope is fully opened and I reach inside, pulling out a sheet of light purple paper.

I smile fondly. Light purple was always my favourite colour and Calum remembered. I slowly unfold the paper, my heart beating in my chest. When the paper is completely unfolded, I turn it over, revealing the words written on the page. My breath catches in my throat at what is written.

126 Dream Street, Nicholls, Canberra, ACT.

Come find me:)