Valєríє (The Weeknd Fan-Fic)

donє

•|November|•

I wasn't able to sleep.

All that's been on my mind is how I cheated and still cheating on Valerie.

I disrespected her, made her jealous and angry. I have so much guilt on my conscious, yet still I continued to do what I do.

I guess the fact that no matter what happened, there will always be a person by my side that cares and loves me. Not once has she asked about where I've been or the visible hickies on my neck. She smiles her weak, fake smile, and continues to love me.

I finished the song...I think it fits my entire situation at the moment.

I love Valerie. She will forever be my first love. When I'm out in the club, I can't help but feel guilt and hesitantion creeping into me. To come back to my place, and lie about my whereabouts and who I was with to her makes me feel like shit.

But I can't stop. The whole club scene is a drug in my viens. Once they're in, the feeling of high and thinking you're the shit is something I cling on to. But once there's no more in your body, you think back and regret. And the feeling of regret makes me fuck up more. I hate that feeling. It made me disgusted with myself. So more drugs and liquor to numb the pain that would eventually come back again.

That's what Trilogy is about. The ups and downs in my life. My experiences. I wrote down what I felt in my moment. At times the songs being over five minutes because I felt as if my life was in a long standstill.

Unfortunately Valerie is my up and my down.

I turned on the lamp on the nightstand beside me, and took out the lyrics to Valerie. The only way I could remember her. I haven't spoken to her in two weeks. Ever since our argument...What I believe was our last argument.

I never thought I feel this kind of hesitantion...My hands on another girl...I wish I didn't have to lie...I wish I could let you know...

Then there was a knock at my door.

I got up in only my boxers and a T-shirt and went to the door, surprised to see Valerie on the other side. I opened the door quickly, but what I saw wasn't Valerie.

Yes it was her body. But her body looked fragile, looked weak. Yes it was her face. But her face looked lifeless, looked hollow. Her hair was in a very messy ponytail, her eyes looked sad and hurt.

"V-Valerie? What happened?"

She didn't say anything, and invited herself inside. She went straight to the bedroom. I closed the hotel door and followed her.

"Your song...I heard it. Do you really mean those things Abel?"

I sat next to her, grabbing her hand, but she pulled away.

"Yes baby I do."

She put back a loose strand of hair behind her hair, and shook her head.

"I'm sorry...I can't do this. You see the pain you inflict on me. You understand what you're doing to me. Yet you continue to do it."

I stood quiet. What could I say? She was 100% correct. I know what I'm doing. I know I'm hurting her. But I can't stop.

"I can't help myself. You know how I am. You understand me." I told her.

"You don't even try anymore Abel. I understand your music has you stressed, but don't be hurting me in the process...Abel we need to break up."

I shook my head no. I can't lose Valerie. She's everything to me. She what keeps me sane. She keeps me together. I lose her, my habits would only get worse.

"Valerie please don't do this. I need you."

She got up, and walked towards the door.

"Abel I love you. You're the first person I have ever truly loved. But I learned sometimes love isn't returned the same way you give it."

And just like that she left. I begged her from my hotel door, but she ignored my requests making me angrier. I grabbed her by her arm and pulled her into my arms. I wrapped her into a hug, when she started to cry on my chest. I rubbed her back, kissing her forehead and ears.

"Please you're making this harder...I wish you luck on your album."

She pulled away from me, running for the closing elevator. Before I got to it, it closed and was on its way down to the lobby. I punched the wall, angry for the things I've done. Deep regrets filling my mind.

I lost the one thing I loved. And I was never getting her back.

---

"Yo what you doing tonight bro?"

The whole crew was over to celebrate the release of my album. But I wasn't in the celebrating mood.

"I don't know man. Probably just chill." I told Hygly.

"Awe c'mon man don't be so sad. You was just doing what you always been doing. There's more girls to come." Lamar said trying to cheer me up.

I weakly smiled, and nodded. I couldn't be just moping around. I need to get out.

"Aight. Let's go."

---

•XO Till We Overdose•