don't // afi & lrh

0.2

"honestly mr. johnson i don't think she needs them. i mean who would really want to... ya'know have sex... with her." the blonde haired girl yelled from the back. "i mean look at her," she laughed making her friends snicker. "well... obviously vanessa they must i mean the guy you fucked yesterday wasn't pleased i'm guessing because now he's down here wanting to fuck me so.... i think you're the one who doesn't need them." i blurted not thinking immediately regretting speaking. my heart racing from the anxiety but i wouldn't dare show it.

"oh and what happened to the whole 'i'm waiting for the right one' bullshit because last time i checked ashton only talked to you for a day." vanessa's eyes brimmed with tears and rage. "ashton did you really tell her about yesterday," she shouted making him quickly throw his hands up in defense. "no but you just did." i giggled finding my way back to my seat. "well someone's feisty," he laughed clasping his hands together.

"honestly irwin go back to your seat and leave me alone," i squeak still anxious from the confrontation. "i've had enough attention for today." mr. johnson sent a smile my way lowly chuckling as he started his lesson.

-

finally the only class i liked was finally here my poetry class down side ashton was in this class also. it's his way of sweet talking girls. "okay class the assignment i gave you guys yesterday was to pick poem out no matter what type and come up here and preform it for the class. so let's see... mhmm... ariel how about you first you rarely raise your hand so we will start with you." ms. price smiled. usually i would hate this but... poetry and this class... i don't know it helps i guess. it helps with the anxiety and the constant sadness and i can actually express myself without feeling stupid.

a s h t o n

"hi," her soft voice like before. "the open i chose is called "him" by carly minero. you said to explain why we picked this poem and i can't tell you why honestly. i don't know maybe it was the passion she had just to be loved by someone she knew would never love her back nevertheless she adored him. in the poem she's honestly not sure about how she feels towards him but she does know she adores him an it undeniable. she only has two poems but they're my favorites." her eyes slightly glimmered as she spoke. looking down to tug at her sleeves she feel silent. "ariel let's hear this poem please," mrs. price smiled nudging her arm playfully as if she was trying to boost her confidence.

"okay..." she sighs
"the way your smile makes the room glow
maybe i never noticed it before,
but you make me feel a certain way
the way the chills run down my spine,
it's something special
i can't deny
i wouldn't call this love,
that's just overrated,
maybe that's not the word for it...
wait, forget it,
it's just not the time
it would make me feel guilty
but what doesn't
it's how you make me feel,
you, make me feel like no other
our story is non-existent,
we aren't anything,
there is no "us",
probably will never be,
and sadly that doesn't stop me from liking you,
this much,
so much
i can't express it,
without making myself feel dumb,
i want this poem to make you feel what i feel,
so much,
this much,
i want you,
i secretly want you and i secretly desire you
imagine,
you and me,
doesn't matter where we are,
if it's just you and me
the thought of you makes me want to spend days listening to music,
music that seems to outline my emotions,
a rhythm that matches up,
with the beat of your heart,
i want you,
i will want you for a long time i know this, only because
it's you...
you are what i want and what i like
never mind the fact that,
you may not feel the same way
sure,
it's unrequited,
more like undecided
should i worry?
should my hopes escalate?
why should i let this happen?
i don't know how to feel,
you,
gosh,
the thought of you and i together
makes me go insane,
i lose it all,
i can't control it,
i have no chance,
i don't feel like i do
im not as confident as other girls,
nor do i dare do half the things they do,
but all i want,
is to fall into your arms
and have you look at me,
the way you would look at the person you love,
i want to mean something to you,
i want you to bring me back to myself,
i want to learn more about myself with you,
you can be my new start,
my new beginning,
it's all i need,
right now,
be my new story,
make this happen.
because honey,
you are something special to me,
forgetting the way i feel about you right now, would feel like a sin,
i want you so badly,
give me some love,
give me the love you have,
for someone you want to love,
you have the ability to become,
my him,
him, of my future
be that person...
please," she smiled.

"that was it," the class fell silent as the tanned skinned girls words became so dynamic. demanding your attention. unlike before in every other class or anywhere else, you'd barely know she was there. hiding out not saying a word. even when she had her moment of snarky remarks you could tell she was uncomfortable and anxious. clenching her hands into a fist to stop shaking, but now the way the words dripped from her lips like honey sending chills down your spine. she was so passionate with her words. her emotions showing. it was beautiful just like she was. she took her seat tugging at her sleeves.
why am i now just noticing her?
maybe this will be more amusing than i thought it would.