Oneshots

Tactical support

There were many things the shinobi of the Hidden Leaf Village were exceptionally good at.

Assassination. Reconnaissance. Strategic warfare. Deception. Keeping state secrets under threat of torture.

And, as it turned out, relentlessly meddling in the private love lives of their commanding officers.

It had started innocently enough.

As most disastrously classified intelligence leaks did.

Asuma Sarutobi and Kurenai Yuhi had been quietly dating for approximately three weeks.

Neither had intended for their subordinates to find out.

They were jōnin. Professionals. Experienced shinobi who knew how to mask their chakra, hide their tracks, communicate without speaking, and maintain operational secrecy under the most difficult circumstances.

Unfortunately for them, they had severely underestimated the combined investigative capabilities of Shikamaru Nara, Ino Yamanaka, Chōji Akimichi, Hinata Hyūga, Shino Aburame, and Kiba Inuzuka.

It took the six newly minted genin exactly eleven minutes to dismantle their entire cover story.

...

"Sensei's acting weird," Kiba announced one humid afternoon, crouched on a low wall bordering the training grounds.

Akamaru gave an agreeing yip from atop his head.

Shino calmly adjusted his dark sunglasses.

"Define weird."

"He's smiling."

Ino glanced up from filing her nails.

"That's not weird. He smiles when Shikamaru actually does a sit-up."

"No." Kiba leaned forward, pointing toward the edge of the clearing. "He smiled at Kurenai-sensei."

The others looked over.

"Like, smiled-smiled," Kiba clarified. "The goofy one."

Silence.

The only sound was Chōji chewing barbecue-flavored potato chips.

Shikamaru slowly lowered his head into his hands.

"...Troublesome."

Chōji swallowed.

"Are they dating?"

"No," Shikamaru said immediately.

Ino narrowed her eyes.

"How do you know?"

"Because Asuma-sensei wouldn't do something that troublesome."

He stared blankly at the dirt.

"Dating requires effort. Planning. Money. Emotional availability. Asuma-sensei only has enough energy for smoking and complaining about his father."

From the dense bushes twenty yards to their left came a loud, unmistakable sneeze.

Everyone froze.

Six heads snapped toward the foliage.

Kiba's nose twitched.

He inhaled deeply.

Then he grinned.

"Someone's spying on us."

"Probably Sensei," Shino said.

Another sneeze  rustled the leaves.

Kiba hopped off the wall.