How To Be A Guy ♕muke.boyxboy♕

10

"If you help me be a guy, I can help you lose the clinging girlfriend."

"So, to be a guy one must act like a guy. Eat like a pig, smell like a pig, and look like a pig. With these three rules you shall master the art of being a guy."

"Okay Mikey, cut the shit now. Gimme an actually rule."

"Never and I mean never, walk into your room with a box of tissues, lock the door and let people see you. If a girl did that, you would just assume she was watching the notebook or some shit. A guy? it looks like they're going to have a," he moved his hand in an up and down motion as if he was holding something. "wank".

"You're foul."

"I'm truthful. And I'm helping you. So be grateful." I rolled by eyes and looked back at him with a dopey smile. "I am very grateful that you are sharing with me the knowledge of your very straight guy wisdom. Thanks."

"Shut up nerd." He scoffed then sat beside me, his arm reaching out to touch my fingers then withdrawing.

"Just be yourself, and if anyone doesn't like it or tries to break you because of it just leave. Trust me. Although limiting the amount of times you use 'like' in a sentence will be a major contribution". All of this was said glancing at the floor with a glaze forming over his eyes. I nudged his shoulder with mine and he snapped out of his momentary trance. His eyes met mine and a half-assed smile made its way to his face. In a croaky voice Michael whispered "wanna get some dinner? Calum made frittata."

-

"Dude it's physically impossible!"

"I'm completely unsure what you're implying. Although it sounds vaguely like you're trying to tell me I can't fit 5 in my mouth at once."

"Oh I'd like to see you try!"

"Oh I bet you would."

Footsteps. Thud. Muffled groans. Door hinge creak.

"WHAT THE FUCKS GOING ON IN HERE CALCIUM?!? WHY AREN'T YOU IN THE KITCHEN?!?"

"I AM IN THE KITCHEN YOU DUNCE."

"MAKING DINNER I PRESUME?"

"Making loooves more like it."

Slap.

"Ow. Yeah ok fine. Dinners ready come sit down losers."

Michael toes off his shoes and leaves them in a neat pile beside the door with a selection of trashed boots and sneakers. My tattered converse lay beside them and I think how nice it'd be to come home like this everyday and leave my things next to Michaels and have dinner with my best friends as talk about nothing and enjoy each other's company. It sounds nice. Really nice.

"Luke? How many slices you up for?"

Sliding into my chair, yeah mine, Ashton made seating plaques, I say "Just two to start thanks also what is Ash shoving into his mouth?"

Ashton chuckles across from me and rubs his slightly red check as Calum glares at him. "I told him I could easily fit 5 golf balls in my mouth. It's his fault he didn't fix his phrasing."

"You're both stupid."

"Shut up Lukewarm."

"Likewise Calcium. Although I'd like to be speaking to both you and you're beloved after dinner."

In the car as we drove to their apartment I'd asked Michael if I could talk about the crazy girlfriend with the other boys and I'd been granted permission therefore, project G.P.B had begun.

- sup possible psychopaths and psychiatrists happy friggin 2018 although time is an illusion and New Years resolutions are pointless.

So yeah I'm back. I think. I'm kind of running I empty but I felt obligated to finish this cause I still get notifications after a couple years so yep merry late whatever you celebrate also if any one read the last update..

~Archer