Why I won't live with my mom when I'm older.
June 26th at 9am she demanded that I clean up the upstairs bathroom because there was hair all over the floor because one of my sisters combed out their hair and didn't clean it up. They were sleeping and I had to get up to clean it up instead of her waking them up.
I went upstairs to use the bathroom and was going to clean the floor after I was done since I was upstairs and while I was in the bathroom she texted me "don't use the bathroom until the floor is cleaned up."
06/28/26
It's 12 in the morning and I was sleeping. She wanted me to move my car and told my brother to call me so he began banging on my door. I walked upstairs upset and she started talking to me and asking me dumb questions. My stomach has been hurting all day and I told her that. After moving my car and coming back inside she continued talking to me and scolding me about dumb stuff and I was growing increasingly frustrated and she told me to get a grip and that "I'd learn." My car could have been moved later after I finished sleeping or she could have moved it herself. Whenever I get frustrated or upset about something instead of showing any empathy she berates me and threatens me. I told her that my brother was banging on my door and I was sleeping and she responded by saying "yeah because I wanted you to move your car." She doesn't care about anyone but herself and when she wants something done she believes it should be done immediately when she wants it to be with no regard for anyone else. When situations like this occur it makes me feel hopeless and want to die.
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Wednesday July 1, 11pm- July 2nd 12 am
I was lying down on the couch. We're in Augusta bc she's moving and we're staying in Erica's house. According to my mother she's paying Erica for us to stay here. I didn't want to sleep in the room because the previous night she had been yelling at my sisters and arguing with them until 12 am, so I left to sleep on the couch. Tonight, July 1st at 11pm she started yelling and cursing at me and telling me I needed to sleep in the room and not on the couch. I told her I didn't want to because she'd been yelling at my sisters until 12 am and she said she hadn't been. But now it's literally 12 am the night after and she's yelling at them and cursing at them. I just left the room and I'm now sitting on the couch and I'm going to wait for them to fall asleep I suppose before I return to the room. We're all sharing a room downstairs and I have my own mattress but it's small and stuffy so when I wake up in the morning my allergies are really bad. Anyways, tonight when my mother was yelling and cursing at me she said "go back to Baltimore and see where your dad has you sleeping." My dad is living with his aunt now and he told me there another room there I can sleep in. Originally I was going to stay in Baltimore but I didn't. After my mom said those things I texted my dad and asked him if I could just stay there. I'm going back to Baltimore during the first week of August because I have a follow up gallbladder procedure to have my stent removed, so instead of going back to Augusta I'll hopefully be staying with my dad. My brother had his own room here in Augusta but me, Shaia, Amina, and my mother share a small room and I'm sick of it. If she's paying for us to live here I don't see what the issue is with me sleeping on the couch. Erica asked me if I wanted to move a mattress upstairs into the hallway and I said no because it stinks up there and my cousins are loud. All of this stuff is making me have suicidal thoughts. I just want to have peace and not feel like everything I do is wrong and stupid, and I'm tired of being cursed at and disregarded. I'm eighteen but I'm still dependent on my mother because despite how much she "does for me" she's done nothing that would allow me to be independent any time soon, and I believe that was intentional. Yet she holds it against me and threatens to take away her support when I make her angry, and I'm tired of that as well. It's 12:18 and she's still yelling at my siblings because they're shifting on the air mattress. Maybe tomorrow I'll try moving my mattress to the living room instead and then moving it back into the room in the morning, but I know she'll have a problem with that as well.
It's 12:24 am and I'm in the bathroom. My mom just texted me this:
"Get up at 9am to wash clothes. I'm going to get you a flight back to Baltimore for your surgery and your dad can help you figure out what to do after that"
