Holding you tight || M. Ackerman F.Reader

Blissful sunlight

PLAYING: Staying - Lizzy McAlpine

The sheet covers perfectly hugged your body, you were still in slumber till the sun rays that streamed across the windows coaxed your eyes open. The air conditioning being the reason of your sudden shiver but the warmth of someones body was pressed against yours and felt comfort. Her hands were caressing through your hair, that soft touch of hers guided your chin to meet her dark gray eyes.

"You fell asleep," followed by a chuckle. Her voice was effortlessly comforting, seemed to melt away your worries.

"Yeah.." You felt a sting on your eye which bought your hand up to sooth the stinging sensation you felt when suddenly— the short pixie cut whom framed her delicate features looked at you with Her dark grey eyes held a gentle warmth despite their cool color, making it difficult to look away.

Her soft hands met your wrists, trying to stop you from rubbing from any further. She gently moved her hand to your (s/c) cheeks and caressed it, you could still remember the first time she held you like this. Your heart was beating rapidly unable to process from the affection she gave.

"how many times do i have to tell you to stop rubbing them like that?" Her gaze struck you telling you to avoid doing that, her eyes furrowed from her worries. Those eyes told me to stop these habits, but i couldn't help but just admire my beautiful girl looking down at me.

"It's gonna leave a light bruise, because you kept rubbing your eyes." She spoke after another.

"Here you go.. nagging me again" You sighed putting up a facade as if i was affected to her nagging, but deeply— You loved it more than anything else. No one else could give the same treatment she gave, and no one will get to appreciate it as much as you do right now.

"Whos going to to remind you once you're at work?" She pouted, your gaze fixated on her rosy pink lips.

Without realizing it, my lips curled into a small smile she doesn't realize how much she affects you. Every little thing she does brings you comfort and melts my problems away.

"y/n, seriously you-"

My body moved on it's own, my lips yearning for hers awaiting to clash as the gap closes down. The softness of her lips made my chest ache in the gentlest way, a warmth blooming beneath my ribs that no words could ever explain. It wasn't a kiss born from desire alone. It was gratitude. It felt like the first time we became this close, it wasn't lust nor illusion— it was connection that we both bonded from all over the years.

Before breaking the kiss, her lips slowly curled into a smile. As we pulled apart there it was— that breathtaking smile on her face.
Her warm smile was everything, no words could describe how much i loved that smile of hers.

She sighed

"What am i gonna do with you?" She broke the silence as she cupped her hand on my cheek, Her soft fingertips lingered against my face melting away my thoughts. Soft laughter escaped from my mouth yet—Your gaze remained on her eyes then briefly remembered the day we met. "Remember in my first day in mappa? as an intern?" Your voice ending in a soft breathy giggle.

"Definitely, i couldn't get my eyes off of you. Even my colleagues knew i was captivated to you" She lets out a soft giggle.

"Really? whats so interesting about me anyway.." You pouted and locked eyes with her dark gray eyes.

"Everything" She didn't hesitate to answer, she didn't need to think before answering that negative question you bought up to her. To you it was nothing, but she despises it when you view lowly of yourself.

She hummed, i turned back my gaze to meet hers and she whispered. "I love everything about you",
I got caught off guard with her sudden affection her words never failed to give me comfort, it was never bold or loud. it was gentle, the kind that eased every ache without asking for anything in return.

I found myself wondering how I'd ever find my way again if she weren't beside me. Followed by a warm smile she placed on her face as her gaze turned back to the window.

"Sleep more, it's still early my love." She whispered, and started humming a lullaby with her voice as gentle as a summer breeze, lulling me into a comforting sense of peace. I could stay like this forever and never wake up. A loving girlfriend caressing my head, humming me to sleep, i could never get tired of days like these. Hell, i'd even wish it'll last eternal.

After a couple of minutes, you fell into deep slumber but the pixie haired girl remained by your side. Her lullaby didn't last long and faded into silence, but her lips still curved into a small smile. She gently brushed her fingers through your hair, gazing your peaceful expression as though it were the most precious thing in the world.

"I love you so much." Her thumb gently traced your cheek before she leaned down to give you a featherlight peck on the forehead.

"Seriously.. What are you gonna do without me?"

Her gaze looked at the window
She looked down, once again to meet your peaceful nature. She let out a quiet sigh, her fingers lingering in your hair even though you could no longer feel them.

"What am I supposed to do with you...?"

Her smile faltered.

"You promised me you'd keep living."
"You-"
She sighs

What am i supposed to do?

You liar
You still think of me, worse, you think i'm still here.

Sure the world is cruel,
But-I've told you to move on.. long ago, where you held my hand on my death bed.

Her thoughts drifted back to the last time your hands had ever touched hers.

"Please don't- Don't leave me mikasa!"
These were the last words i heard from you before the monitor went hysterically beeping in constant.

She looked toward the envelope resting on your bedside table.

It was still unopened.

Armin and the others had already read their letters, when will you read the one i wrote for you y/n?

Hopefully, when you wake up read it please. For me.

Dear Y/n,

I know you told me i shouldn't make these , but the world is too cruel we would never know. Don't blame yourself because i'm not here anymore okay? I want you to know that i'm really grateful for all of the years i've spent with you y/n. I hope you will still be your silly self even if i'm not physically here with you anymore. Heres the thing, Live.
i want you to live a long life and live it to the fullest. Forget about me i don't want you to be stuck thinking about me. I had the slightest thought of not wanting you to find a different girlfriend, i want you to think of me and me only. But i realized that i was too selfish, but is it selfish for wanting something? Y/n please, take care of yourself. I always be with you within your heart so, Keep my scarf when it brings you comfort, throw this letter away or burn it after reading the contents. i'd be more pleased if chose you to keep me as a memory. I'm really am thankful for everything,

The world is cruel, but i still love you.
- Kasa

A/U: i wrote this while pooping btw :3