Wedding Planner | Harry Styles

14

14

the break is over and it's just been six days YAY

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December 8, 2010

To my dearest Rachelle,

          Woah, woah, you talk about that Valentine's day event as if prom never happened. You knocked down all the food when you saw this hot thing (a.k.a. me) entering the room. I turned your head when I  walked through the door (hey, that sounds like a song lyric). Ha! You can't hide from that, Rachelle. You can never ever hide from that.

All the fucking love,

Harry

P.S. I really, really love you-- with all my heart

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It was now seven o' clock pm, now, and it was starting to get dark. The lights everywhere were really bright now. The day went by quickly. It was basically just Harry and I walking around the city, not really speaking about anything except how beautiful The City looked through out different periods of the day.

Harry eventually let go of my hand-- I wasn't surprised, really. He was dating Lorena after all. Why in God's name would he hold my hand? That was out of the question. Not to mention, my hands were probably soaked with sweat and emotions due to the big event of Harry holding my goddamn hand.

"So..." Harry began, but eventually stopped. The awkwardness of the situation just seemed to have come into presence, so things went a little downhill. Not that it was uphill in the first place. And not that I was disappointed about anything, really. "The weather?" He finally added. I didn't quite know what to say.

Then there was silence.

"So how've you been doing in the past three years?" Harry asked, breaking the silence. I've been really empty, Harry. I wanted to say.

"I've been doing great," I told him. Lies. Lies. Lies. I was far from okay. I don't know how many times I've let Clare and Nina down for not having enough money to pay for the bills I was responsible for in the house. I don't know how many times I had to depend on other people for my needs. I was like a fucking fungi-- I depend on others for food and other shit. "How about you? I mean, other than the fact that you're a businessman now, and the fact that you're getting married. Like, how'd you get to those points in life?" I asked.

"Well..." Harry started, "The business part-- since, you know, Lorena kind of made me a businessman. You know how I was in college- I was reckless." Harry explained. And I came into realization now that it was Lorena who made Harry the responsible Harry whom I was talking to now. It became even clearer to me on why Harry loved Lorena so much-- she was his remedy from all the problems and challenges he faced. She was the remedy from his education, from his profession, and from me.

"Oh, cool." Is all I could manage to say.

"Yeah, and like, she helped me a lot, really. That's why I'm Harry Styles now, not just that college drop out," Harry told me. It felt like a stab in the heart. He quoted me, from the day we broke up. I remember that day entirely-- it was hard to forget, really. It was the day I made a horrible decision of letting go six years worth of love. Three years worth of shared lunch breaks and three years worth of sending letters-- I poured down the drain in an instant.