Before I Say I Do

Ch. 1: Before I Say I Do

It was supposed to be the best day of her life. A day to remember for decades more to come, when she grew old, when her memories would start to fade. She was supposed to look back on this day with warmth. Not hatred. Not these unwelcome and uncomfortable feelings.

Granted, the day hadn't begun this way.

Olivia had finally found time in the morning to take a seat, catch her breath and sift through her muddled thoughts. Her legs seemed to have a mind of their own, bouncing up and down eagerly as if they were ready to run a mile. She stilled them with a hand resting on the pearly white fabric of her dress. As she let out a deep breath, she leant back against her seat and scanned the room with a soft but fatigued smile on her face.

It was her wedding day.

"Tired?" A voice behind her spoke up, sounding empathetic and calm amongst the fuss and chaos guaranteed to come with preparations before such an event. Emily.

Olivia turned to face her best friend, her smile widening before she shook her head firmly. "Just taking a quick break."

Olivia stood up suddenly, gesturing to her beautiful white dress before asking her best friend with a raised eyebrow. "Well? What do you think?"

Emily's eyes scanned the dress silently, eyes lingered on each detail. The strapless design on the top, the flowy layers and the tight form fitting of the waist. Emily met Olivia's eyes, expression unreadable and strangely serious before she broke into a grin and announced. "Jonathon's going to be blown away."

With a moment's pause as Olivia stared at Emily thoughtfully, she just smiled before taking Emily's arm and admitting. "I'm nervous. I've only met his family a few times, I haven't even ran into his siblings yet. What if they hate me?"

Emily shrugged and her hand moved to gently cover Olivia's as she squeezed it gently. Her skin was calloused and rough from all the work she does with pottery and clay. A sign of her passion. "It'll be fine. It's not your fault they've all been away at university."

Olivia just sighed softly, looking away from Emily. The smell of wedding food preparations began to sneak in from the venue, a strangely comforting sign.

"Olivia?"

Olivia's heart jumped. Was it time for the first look already? God, she had lost track of time so quickly. Emily squeezed her arm comfortingly, and before she could even glance back at Emily, she had disappeared. Olivia began to wonder if she was even there at all.

"Are you ready?" Jonathan added, his clear voice trailed in from behind the door to her dressing room. His excitement was infectious and Olivia almost immediately felt just as pumped.

"I'm ready." She finally said.

The door slowly creaked open, and Olivia could finally see the figure who stood behind it. He looked incredible. His posture, appearance, and whole personality always sent a wave of unforgettable nostalgia over her. She never really knew where it came from. All she knew is that it felt amazing. Jonathan stood there, his gaze falling over Olivia with an unmistakable grin on his face. His first instinct was to run a hand through his hair, but he stopped himself, as if remembering how long stylists had spent furiously smoothing it over. It made her laugh - and Olivia could feel all the tension in her shoulders melt away. Upon hearing her laugh, his eyes lit up, and before she had any time to say anything, he was spinning her around swiftly.

"Jonathan!" Olivia squealed, her arms moving around his neck to stabilize herself. Her heart was racing, not just from nerves but also from how close he was to ruining her dress. As Johnathan put her down, she looked up at him with sparkly eyes.

"You look beautiful." He stole the first compliment, looking down at Olivia with a genuine and affectionate smile. Olivia couldn't help but blush as his hands moved around her waist. She finally found her words, teasing him. "You look better in a suit than I expected."

He laughed at her words, giving her an amused eyebrow raise. "Is that your idea of a compliment?"

"You look incredible, then." Olivia admitted as she gave him a dazzling smile. It was all going perfectly. "Now get out. It's almost time."

Jonathan rolled his eyes at her playfully, leaning down to steal a kiss before he said to Olivia genuinely. "I'm so glad I can finally be your husband."

That made her smile. Olivia just nods, her heart too overwhelmed to even try to cook up a reply as sweet back.

The time had seemed to slip away before she could even get a grip on the reins, and she was now stood outside the venue hall, whilst people by her side fussed with the train of her dress. She took her time to admire the intricacy of the door, the sound of quiet chatter and the wedding man trailing from the other side.

Her dress flowed almost angelically around her as she shifted, and her father came to take his place by her side to walk her. His face was contorted in an almost hilarious way, as if he was containing something with pure brute force. In an attempt to comfort him, Olivia took his hand for a moment and squeezed it, though that only seemed to make his face look even more uncomfortable.

She looked away, eyes landing once more on the ridiculously large double doors. Her heart thumped so hard heat rushed to her cheeks when the doors slowly began to open. As expected, Jonathan was standing at the end of the aisle, looking more handsome than ever.

"We now welcome the bride, Olivia Love..."

Her feet began to move forwards almost of their own accord, unable to stay away when he was standing there, looking at her so hopefully. The excitement only seemed to break free at the last moments, when all her loved ones, family, and his family stared up at her.

Olivia's eyes scanned over them, some people tearing up, others smiling brightly. She didn't get a chance to see her fiance's family close just yet.

Her eyes finally locked with his. Jonathan's eyes shone with tears. Her own eyes now stung as she tried to blink away the inevitable waterworks. Her heart felt heavy with emotion, and every step seemed to tug at her heartstrings. Olivia's father guided her up the steps, and she stood opposite her future husband, her face breaking into a raw smile.

Olivia wasn't even sure she heard much of what the man was saying, her eyes and mind totally captivated by the man opposite her. The man cracked a joke or two, making her laugh softly as she got embarrassed by the attention around the two of them. Johnathan's gaze seemed to calm her, and finally it came.

"Once papers are agreeably signed in the evening, you will be husband and wife. Jonathan Baker, you may kiss the bride.."

It was happening. It was really happening. Jonathan pulled Olivia in close gently by the waist, and her memory flashed back to all their moments. Happy, sad, and bittersweet. It all built the relationship between the two of them.

Olivia's gaze scanned around the crowd in the rows one final time as Johnathan leaned in closer.

Their lips never met. Her mind blanked as she suddenly jerked away from Johnathan and turned to face the crowd, her attention locking ont one specific person.

"Olivia? What's going on?" She heard in the background, though she didn't find the words to answer Johnathan, her gaze still fixed on a figure amongst the crowd of family. Her heart rate had spiked in a way she hadn't felt in a long time.

The man in the crowd only now seemed to notice Olivia's gaze on him, and his eyebrow raised subtly, before Olivia caught the amusement dancing in his eyes. Her breath caught and she suddenly found herself struggling to breathe and maintain composure. A wave of nostalgia, confusion and shock went through Lia as she took a step back and the sound of fabric ripping teared through the deathly silent venue.

"Olivia!" Jonathan's sharp tone broke the silence, his expression betraying the hurt and confusion as she broke away from him and barely spared him a glance.

"I can't." Olivia said, her voice was suddenly devoid of emotion. She started walking back down the aisle, tearing her gaze away from the man with a dark and unreadable expression painted on her face. Her torn dress dragged across the floor listlessly behind her.

"I can't do this right now."