First at Last

Chapter Ten

To which she replied, "Clearly!"

And that ended our conversation. I did not want to speak to her anymore, and she must have felt much the same, because she did not even look at me for the remainder of the ride.

I sat in a chair before the fireplace in my bedroom, watching the flames dance and crackle in the hearth. I was holding a book—Julius Caesar, given to me by William—but I'd abandoned the thought of reading it soon after I picked it up. I was too distracted. I kept thinking back to William and the way he'd acted tonight.

It was not as if he didn't know who I was. It was as if he loathed me, the way he acted. Like a friend that had been betrayed. What had I done to deserve such a reaction? I hastily blinked against the stinging in my eyes. I refused to cry over him.

Suddenly, there was a soft tapping at my door.

Oh, God. He had better not be here. I swear—

The tapping sounded again, louder this time. I tossed my book onto the chair beside the one I sat in and walked over to the balcony doors. I pulled one of the doors open and found William standing there.

I did not even think about what I was doing, didn't give myself time. It was as though I had no control over myself. I slapped him hard across the face. My hand stung from the blow and his head jerked to the side, a red mark already forming on his cheek. I knew he was a prince. I probably could have gotten killed for what I'd just done. But my anger got the better of me, and I didn't care.

He turned his head slowly to look at me, his blue eyes wide. "Erika," his voice was wary, as if he were trying to reach a feral beast. For in truth, he might have been.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" I said in a sharp voice. "Get off of my balcony now. You're not welcome here."

"Not before I explain." He took a step toward me, and my hand twitched slightly. I wanted to hit him again. But he was faster than me. He could see the temptation in my eyes and in no time at all, he held both of my wrists and had me pinned against the wall, beside the balcony doors. The icy wind whispered against my skin, but I was too angry to notice the cold.

"Explain, William? What is there to explain? What did I do that made you act the way you did? Was it because I haven't been meeting you? I told you—"

"This wasn't about you, Erika." His voice was sharp as a knife, effectively cutting me off. "You think I wanted to sit next to your sister? That I enjoyed hearing all about her superficial life, the different suitors, the parties?" He sounded breathless now, his eyes wide, his face tinged red. "I didn't! My father told me to. I had to act like I didn't even know you, so that you could even be there tonight. It was so frustrating. Because I wanted to sit next to you, and talk to you. And I wanted to laugh at you for trying to read your book under the table while eating dinner in the king's private dining room, with the king, himself! And I didn't even want to be there. I wanted to be walking the streets of Belhaven with you, just the two of us, the way we always do. But I couldn't, because this dinner was about my marrying Alice, not my marriage to you. Not to you . . ." His voice trailed off.

His face was so close that I could see little flecks of gold in the sapphire rings of his eyes. I did not know what to say. I was completely speechless. "William—"

"I do not love your sister, Erika. She does not hold a place in my heart, like you do." He whispered, his voice strained.

I felt tears prick my eyes, but I did not want to cry. Not now. My eyes moved to his lips. I wanted to kiss him, but that was most inappropriate. Especially at this hour, in my bedroom. Control yourself, my mother would say. That is not how a lady acts, not how one should think.

Slowly, I pulled my right hand out of his grasp and placed it gently against his cheek, where I'd hit him.

His eyes fluttered closed and I could see the shadows his eyelashes cast upon his cheeks by the light of the fire. He pressed his forehead against mine and my eyes closed too. I loosed a long, slow breath, wishing time could stop, wishing I never had to see how this story would end . . . for either of us.

"It is cold out here, William." I said, although I could not really feel it. "Let us go inside." My voice was barely above a whisper.

He took both of my hands in his, pulling me into my room and shutting the door behind us. I glanced over to the door that led out to the hallway. I needed to lock it. As a precaution. If my mother walked in and William was here, all hell would break loose. I pulled away briefly to lock and bolt the door to my room and then I led him over to the chair by the fire. He sat in the chair, pulling me onto his lap and I curled up against him as he wrapped his arms tightly around me. My head rested so perfectly against the hollow of his throat. I could feel his heart beating, could hear the rhythmic sound of his breathing.

It was a lullaby, gently nudging me into sleep. But I did not want to sleep. I wanted to stay awake as long as he was here, spend every moment I was given, with him.

At one point, I thought of something. "Last time . . . when you were in my bedroom. When you left, did you climb back down from the balcony?"

"No, I walked out your front door." He whispered.

At first, I thought he was serious, but then he laughed softly. "Yes, I climbed back down."

I nodded. "Was the climb going up or down harder?"

"Probably down, because I didn't really know how to get down. I climbed down a little ways and then jumped. But I was fine," he said quickly when I shot him a glare.

"William," I said, my voice holding a warning. "You had better not get yourself killed because of me."

He laughed softly, his breath tickling the hairs on my neck. "I can't make any promises, but I'll try not to."

"Well, as long as you try," I said, smiling.

I looked up and saw that he was smiling faintly, staring into the flames of the fire before us. "For you, Erika, I will always try."

Those words made my heart flip in my chest. Smiling to myself, I closed my eyes. I let those words play through my head as I drifted off to sleep.

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This was the end of chapter ten. I hope you like the story so far! If you see anything that is a mistake or grammatical error, feel free to leave a comment and tell me what needs to change.

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P.S. Just a reminder: I know I've published this on the website, but I am still going to edit it just as I go, because I am still working on it. I haven't even finished writing it yet :P