Chapter 26- Home

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***Flashback***

"Jessy do you see all those tiny little specks down there?" I nodded. "All those little specks are actually people." Daddy said. We had hiked up to the very top of South Mountain, this is the first time I've ever made it to the top. Daddy was so proud!

"If those are people why do they just look like dots?" I asked.

"Well," He began and knelt down to my level, " That's because we're so high up." He explained.

"When we go to Heaven is that what we'll see when we look down." I asked. The innocence in my six year old eyes sparkled in the Arizona sun.

Daddy scratched his scruffy chin and thought. "No, sweetheart. When we're in Heaven and we look down we'll be able to see everyone we love as if we were standing right in front of them."

"Why is it different?"

"Because, when we go to Heaven, God will only want us to see what makes us happy. Right now, God wants us to see what we need to see."

***End of Flashback***

--

****Zayn's POV****

I watched from the doorway as Jess and her father sang together at his bedside. I watched as he held her close, and I listened as he told her the same thing he told me a couple months ago. When the machine flat-lined and the doctors rushed in, I knew that was it. He was gone. Tears were racing down Jessyka's face as she still held on to her fathers lifeless hand. In this moment all I wanted to do was hold her, to tell her it would all be okay. But, I knew I couldn't. Jess whispered something in his ear, kissed his temple and then slowly released the hold she had on his hand. She turned and began walking slowly towards me. She was looking right at me but it was as if I wasn't even here, her blank expression carried on as she seemingly looked straight through me.

I walked into the hall, the scene unfolding in front of me was bereaved and despairing. A mother held on tight to her three daughters while her son paced the corridor with a lost and dishelved look upon his face. I stood as a bystander, not knowing what to do or say.

Jessyka broke free from her mothers embrace and ran. I followed her to make sure nothing happened to her. She stopped in the front waiting room of the hospital level. Her body slammed against the hard wall and slowly her body began to slide and fold together until she was seated in a fetal position on the tiled floor. I raced over to her and, without saying a single word, gathered her up into my arms. We sat there for what felt like ages. Neither of us able to find words to say. Tears threatened to fall from my own eyes, but for Jessyka I had to stay strong.

Through the lobby doors came Liam, Niall, Louis, Harry, and Mads. They were all laughing; no doubt one of them said or did something stupid. Mads looked over and saw us on the ground, Jessyka pulled into my chest. Mads mouth opened like she was about to day something. I put my hand out as a signal to stay quiet. I whispered to Jess that I was getting up for just a second, but as expected she didn't respond. I walked over to them and they all huddled around me. Without even thinking, I threw my arms around Mads.

"Zayn.... What's going on?..." Mads asked cautiously.

Mads and I have never really 'bonded', I guess you could say, so this was hard for me to say to her. I felt like I shouldn't be the one to break this news to her, afterall Jessyka's dad was like a second father to her. I pulled Mads into my chest, "Love, I'm so sorry." I felt her brows furrow against my arm, "Mr. Anderson passed away."

She stiffened and pulled back a bit. "What?" She croaked. She looked up at me and shook her head slowly, "That's not funny Zayn..."

I pulled her back by he shoulders so I could look her square in the eyes, "Madison. I wouldn't joke about this." Instantly Mads entire body dropped, leaving her rested on her knees on the hospital floor.

The boys all looked at me with furrowed brows, as if they didn't believe me. Liam took a second then ran over to Jess, who was still sitting against the wall. I saw him sit next to her and pull her into his chest, like I had done moments before. Harry helped Mads off the ground and walked her over to a chair, where Niall and Louis also sat, but they had say down and had their heads resting in their hands.

****Jessyka's POV****

The boys were all here. Although I didn't see or hear them come in I knew they were there. Zayn had gone to talk to them and just a few minutes later someone came over to me. At first I thought it was Zayn, but as they sat down Zayn's scent wasn't there. Instead, I recognized Liam. I'm assuming he knows, which is good, because I don't think I could form the words right now.

I suppose it's expected to tune out the world when a loved one passes on but I feel like my heart has been ripped out and turn apart and a huge chunk was left out when it was placed back in my chest. There is nothing and no one that can make this stop, that can make this pain go away. We walked back over to where the rest of my family was and even though I didn't want to look up, I did. My baby sisters were cuddled together, in any other circumstances this would be highly unusual like seeing a fish walking in the desert, it just doesn't happen. They were both red in the face and you could see where every individual tear had raced down their faces. My brother was seated with his elbows rested on his knees and his head buried in his hands. My mom... My mom was talking to doctors and nurses, even though I could tell she was trying not to break down again. Liam made his way over to my mom, and being the amazing guy he is was probably going to go whatever he could to help so my mom didn't have to deal with that stuff right away. Niall and Louis went and sat with Carolina and Michelle. I didn't notice until now, but Zayn's arm was protectively secured around my waist. I turned and saw Harry holding onto Mads- Oh Mads- I quick wriggled out of Zayn's embrace and ran over to Mads. We didn't speak, just hugged.

--

It felt like hours later when we finally went back home- if you can call it that. My home was with my mom, my dad, my sisters, and my brother. One of those people were gone and there was no way I will ever get them back. This wasn't home anymore.

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