I Should Have Known It Before

Valentine's Day

-Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed-

When I woke up on Valentine's day I had the feeling of butterflies in my stomach. Mary kind of planted the idea of Nic having a super surprise for me in my head and I couldn't help but think about what it can be. Nic didn't really call me or text me but I was hopeful that he would today and that we'll have a great evening together. I really liked him and wanted whatever we had to be an offical relationship , because til today we never actually talked about this issue but I sure felt like we had a relationship for weeks now. Whatever, I will sure find out today but now I had to get ready for work first.

I promised Miss Taylor, my bride to be that I'd come over to the venue and check on everything what's planned for the party. By now it was 1pm and I had to leave because the celebration would start at 6pm. I wore my red dress with lace and high heels, because I wasn't sure about what I'll do after work. Nic hadn't sent me a time yet he just texted me 'Happy Valentine's Day X'. Maybe he'd call later? Or not? Well I don't have a clue so let's just see... When I entered the venue all the staff was already busy with their projects. I helped to set up the stage for the band and some decoration for the tables when it was 5pm and Miss Taylor entered. 'Miss Green! It's so nice to see you. Thank you very much for coming.' 'Hello Miss Taylor, it's fine I really am happy that you planned your event with our company.' I answered. We walked through the hall and I showed her around, she was more than pleased with everything and told me that she wants me to plan her wedding too, if I offered this service. I, of course, took the offer and she told me that I she had to tell her viance immediately. She also wanted me to meet him so we went to the exit where he was just entering.

I stood there and was very surprised when I saw Nic entering the hall. He had me surprised by this for sure, but my happiness to see him and surprise me at work faded in an instant when my bride to be ran towards him, throwing her arms around his neck, kissing him. I stood there dumbstruck. My feet were glued to the ground and I couldn't say a word. His eyes were wide as they walked towards me and I didn't know how to react. The butterflies in my stomach transformed into a burning sensation of anger and sadness. How could this happen to me again?! Well it wasn't the same because this time I was the fucking fling, but this poor bride all innocent, not knowing what's going on... Just like me back then in Germany. Miss Taylor's voice got me out of my thoughts. They were now standing right in front of me and she was looking at him lovestruck. 'So this is Nic soon to be Taylor my viance!' She nearly squealed. 'Nice to meet you.' He said and extended his hand. I did the same we shook them slightly and my heart began to sting at the touch. 'A pleasure to meet you too.' I said and added 'A very lovely bride you have here, you should better watch out for her and treat her well.' 'I will, she is indeed a very lovely person, and I wouldn't want her to get hurt.' He answered and smiled. What a fucking prick I thought and smiled too, which I hoped was a convincing smile. We had a bit of small talk and every now and then I felt a piece of my heart falling apart. How could I've been so dumb and trust this guy? Why did I fall for him so easily again? And why the fucking hell was it me all the time who gets betrayed? Am I so bad? Wasn't I worth something? Obviously not... Whilst I was in my thoughts they talked on and on. I really didn't listen to anything they said, I was on the verge of tears so I decided to chicken out and leave. I told Miss Taylor that I had plannes and because everything was alright and the guests would be here soon I would leave. She thanked me and wished me a nice evening and I took my things and left. By now it was really cold and I wished I had some other clothes on. I walked as fast as possible in my heels and tried to call Mary, when I remembered that it was Valentine's day and everyone would be out tonight. Wow happy me huh? I went into some bar not far away from home and started drinking. I was the cliche loner for sure, basically dumped on Valentine's day, drinking away the pain and sadness. After a beer and some Tequilas my phone rang. 'Huh?' I answered. 'Daphne honey you called? But I didn't look on my phone you know I went out with Ralph what happened? I'm on the toilet now he is waiting outside.' 'Nothing have a nice evening.' I slurred and took a sip from my cocktail. 'Are you drunk?' 'Maybe.' 'Where are you Daph?' 'Enjoy your evening and leave me alone.' I said 'Daphne please don't do this to me!' 'He was her viance. My bride from work you know? Nic will marry her. I found out today.' I said and the line was silent. I heared a door open and close and some whispering. Probably her and Ralph... 'Honey listen, we are too far away right now to come over, you know we went away for today and tomorrow, but someone will look after you just tell me where you are please?' And I told her. And then I hung up on her and cried. I cried because I was a bitch to my best friend, I cried because I was kinda jealous everything worked for her and I cried because I understood that noone would want me because I was a jealous bitch. I sat there crying and the bartender just poured me another drink and said 'On the house' before he left for other customers.

I continued to drink and I already felt dizzy just sitting there, but I had no intentions to stop. I heared the door of the pub open and close and then I heard a familiar voice talking to the bartender. Someone sat down beside me and just said 'Hey' in a low voice. I tried to look at him but my eyes wouldn't zoom in on the face right in front of me. 'Dan' I slurred and then I started to cry again and he embraced me in a warm hug. I was so embarrassed because I was a giant, drunk, crying, ugly as fuck looking mess but he didn't care. 'I'll take you home now, you had enough for today.' I just nodded and he paid the bartender. He said goodbye and scooped me up bridal style. Thank god for that because I surely couldn't walk anymore.

Outside the cold night air hit me and I felt even more dizzy. Dan gently sat me down in the frontseat of his car and closed the door for me. Then he entered his side and drove to my flat. In my head everything started spinning and so he got me into bed immediately after we entered my flat. 'Do you want to change? The dress must be uncomfortable.' He said and I nodded so he went to my drawer and got a shirt out which he pulled over my head. Then he unzipped my strapless dress under the shirt and pulled it down so I was covered all the time with the shirt. He got me some pyjama pants too and just put my legs in them so I could pull them up by myself, which I did. I lay down in my bed tears straming down my face. Dan stood in my room awkwardly not knowing what to do. Well I didn't say a word until now. 'Thank you.' I said and looked at him. 'Anytime' he returned and sat down on the edge of my bed holding my hand. 'Don't cry anymore. I know briefly what happened because Mary called me and you don't have to tell me anything but listen, he wasn't worth it. He doesn't deserve you when he's acting like this. Someone deserves you when he makes you happy and when he's caring. Please never think that you're responsible for this. There are people who dearly love you more than anything okay?' 'Okay.' I said when he was about to get up and leave. I knew I would have nightmares tonight so I just whispered 'Stay?' from under my blanket and he turned around and laid down beside me. We just looked at each other and when my eyes grew heavy I just whispered 'You make me happy Dan Smith.' And that was the last thing I said before I fell asleep. I slept pretty good, dreamless, thanks to Dan who hugged me all night.