A Slip into the Past (boyxboy)

part one

     James Bennett was my unhealthy obsession. Has been since I first saw his picture. But it's with good cause, I know it. I just have to find him to prove it.

     I peeked around the wall to see if Mrs. Bitch is behind her computer. I never like the woman and neither did she. We have a mutually hate for one another. Every time I step foot in here, she kicked me out before I could even breathe in the smell of old books. Which is likely because I always stir up some type of trouble for her. Totally immature I know, but like I said: mutually hate.

     I let out a breath of relief when I saw that she wasn't here. I slowly, with ninja like moves, creeped towards the far corner of the library and dropped my backpack near the table and sat down. I let out a triumph grin for finally making it inside here after months of attempts.

     Carefully placing James Bennett's paper before me, I stared at it with crossed arms. He's been missing for over 2 years now. I always feel so sad when I thought about him, which is often. I never knew how bad he actually had it till I started digging around.

     His parents are big shots in these parts. His fathers is the town's Mayor while his mother was a lawyer. The fact that he could be gone for days without people caring had me looking into his disappearance more. Turns out, they were never home. He was only reported missing after a month and a half of him being gone. How fucked up is that? It wasn't even his parents that noticed. It was the school! He had too many absences, that they'd called to inform him he was about to be kicked out.

     When his father found out, he ordered a police search for the surrounding areas. They'd checked surveillance cameras and asked around town. When they found video footage on the trail cam, they'd searched the forest. For only two days! After that, they just gave up. All they do now is post up missing person's flyer's everywhere.

     When I happened to find myself in front of that forest, Mr. Bennett, the Mayor, came stumbling towards me. With a slur of his words, he asked me why I trespassing on his property. I ignored his question and instead asked him what he was all doing to find his son.

     Do you know what the fucker said? I don't know where that little shit went. He probably went off to go be a fag somewhere else.

     Granted, he was hammered and didn't mean for that to slip out of his mouth. But after his little threat about 'gutting me' if I told anyone, I didn't know how I did it, but I pride myself on my ability not to go ape shit on him. The missing person flyer's, were basically for show. So he looks like the 'kind, caring, father' looking for his long lost son.

     I often find myself in front of that forest. Either in my dreams or when I actually go there. I always sat in front of it, with my legs crossed for hours on end. Just thinking about James Bennett, if he was alive or dead, and what he was doing. And how he was feeling- if he was sad or happy now.

     I wanted to go inside and search for him, yet I could never bring myself to enter. It was like there was a great force, propelling me from it. I always got a nagging feeling that I wasn't supposed to enter. Which had me sitting there like a good little boy.

     I always trusted my instincts. But, not even a couple of months prior, I came to the conclusion that I was just being a chicken shit and decided to enter. As soon as I stepped foot beyond the first set of trees, I felt paralyzed.

     An unbearable pain swept over my body that had me falling to the ground. I felt so light headed and sick. I still remember to this day, the amount of bile I threw up. The taste of the sour acid as I laid there, curled up into a ball, dry heaving when there wasn't anything left to throw up.

     I passed out because of the pain. I awoke to it being pitch black outside. I used the grass, gripping it to pull myself out. No matter how weak I remembered I felt, all I knew at the time was that I needed to call for help. Get to hospital because the state my body was in, I felt like I was going to die right then and there.

     I chuckled dryly, boy was I ever wrong.

     As soon as my feet passed the tree line, all the pain and sickness I felt, disappeared. All I felt was unbearably tired. I just rolled onto my back, in a state of shock and stared up at the night sky. Not soon after, I burst out in tears. I was so scared at the time. That night still haunts me to this day. I don't remember how I got home. Or how I got into the shower, because the next thing I know, I was laying in my bed, with my hair wet and a towel wrapped around my waist, as tears still cascaded down my face.

     When I finally cried myself to sleep, I dreamt about that forest. I was sitting in front of it, staring at a man's broad back as he walked away from me. The sorrow and the happiness I felt, the fulfilment - had me at a loss. All I wanted to do was scream at him. Tell him to come back to me but the words wouldn't leave my lips. It was like I wasn't there.

     I was a blank, hollow mess that just stared off at him. When I finally gained control of myself, I slumped forward in hysteria and bawled my eyes out for what felt like hours. I kept whispering a name over and over again. A name I couldn't remember for the life of me.

     A calming hand came down on my shoulder and I remember, instantly feeling calm. I kept looking around, trying to see if that man had come back but there was nothing there. I just frantically looked around, searching for him. When a soft, soothing voice sang through my ears, I stilled immediately.

     Patients my child. It's not time yet. You will know when you can enter. 

     As crazy as it sounds, I believed her.

     I never told anybody about that night. I wouldn't dare. Whenever I had a strong urge to enter that forest, that woman's voice would meet me in my dreams and whisper those same soothing words as she did that night.

     But, last night was different. She whispered something else.

     My child. It's almost time. Prepare yourself.

     I didn't know what she meant by 'preparing myself,' I just had a feeling I was a step closer to finding James Bennett. The key to everything. The key to who the man was in my dream.