Vincent Territory

Chapter nineteen | Go

"Fuck this, if you want to cry go right ahead. You were making me uncomfortable with your noises. That's the WHY of it." He growled out through clenched teeth and I found that I was regaining my strenght no longer lingering on the effects of his earlier words. The tears stopped and I found myself sitting up and getting onto my knees on the bed in front of him. His height was very intimidating and he still stood taller than me as I knelt on the bed before him and he stood on the ground in front of me. A bored expression plastered across his face.

"Payne I never said I wanted your love. I want you to try this with me. I'm as new to this as you are and its okay." I said calmly, aware that I said his name and how I addressed him. If he was tense before he was stiff now. His eyes grew even darker and his mouth began to form a snarl. "You have a problem with me saying your name Payne? Well I have a lot of problems when it comes to you." I stated and I felt this boost of confidence I've never felt before towards this man and my heart raced in my chest not from fear but from anxiety to tell him what I've always wanted to scream at him. He was about to say something and I knew he was going to yell or growl out something at me but I ignored him and continued.

"I know you've been through stuff when you were younger. I remember your story! I know what happened okay? And you know what! It's been so long and you need to ignore it and put the past behind you. You need to stop being a ghost walking around in a live man's body! Get over it and get over yourself. I've been through shit as well and I've moved on." Taking a breath before I began to stammer with how fast the words were leaving my mouth and with every word that left my mouth I felt pieces of the anchor that was weighing down my chest lift. "But you know what Payne you being such an asshole isn't helping either of our situations. I hate the way you pretend to not feel any emotion! You feel it but you can't express it. I get that but come on. You can't lash out on me. I'm not your personal punching bag okay? And if you're going to hit me for saying all this." The moon goddess above is probably smiling down at me and giving me all this strenght and courage because I knew I didn't have this in me. I found myself getting completely off the bed now leaving the brown sheets behind me and stood right in front of him. "Hit me." I growled out and my determination still didn't fade.

The space in-between us was barely visible and I felt his body heat radiating off him and hitting me in waves just as his anger waves were. His jaw was set hard and I could see his eyes were almost pitch black now filled with rage that wasn't allowed out. He was more than a head taller than me but I didn't let that scare me. I barely met his pecks with my height but I stood straight and raised my head and stared directly into his stormy eyes. Determined to get something out of him. Maybe I was just stupid and was going to end up passing out again but I needed to do this and I'll keep doing this as much as I have to because it won't be over until I have him as mine and he'll accept me as his. God, just the thought alone had my toes curling, what it would be like to have Payne's strong arms wrapped around me as we woke up together-

"Stop it." He said his voice and tone hard as ever and I shook my head and I saw his eyes growing lighter as if he was giving his anger a break.

"I'm not going to stop. I've lost everything that ever meant something to me, my parents, my pack and now you want me to lose my mate as well. If you think I'm going to give up so easily, you're not as smart as I thought you were. You know what I want? I want a mate and sadly it's you." I stated and at that point I was expecting the heat of his palm or the hard curves of his knuckles as it made contact with my face but instead I got a confused looking Payne and he began stepping backwards trying to get away from me.

As I began taking steps toward him he held out his hands in warning and his voice followed, "Don't come near me, get out! Stop this you won't get anything from it! Get out!" He began yelling and its only then starring at his retreating form I noticed that he looked vulnerable in this situation. I spoke about his past and told him to get over it and it must have brought something back to him and for the first time he actually looked something other than angry and upset with me, he looked nervous and flushed as he stood there but that was because he was unsure of what I was going to do. Fear wasn't something I believed Payne felt so I went with those two options, but I couldn't stop now, I've said so much and I still had an ounce of courage to use up until I'm back to my just-leave-it-alone self. I wanted to dig deep into him until I left my words permanent in his skin just as his tattoos were. I wanted him to remember that whatever he did I was still the mate chosen by the fates for him, I am the one he will eventually love and be with whether it happened now or in the next century. I needed him to take a huge note that whether he liked it or not and even more so, whether I liked the outcome or not, I wasn't going to give up.

I didn't stop following his trail until I had him pressed against a wall and I was a few inches away from him. His towering height and those, now glowing grey eyes were right in front of me and I felt nothing but the urge to keep going and so I did.

"Payn-"

"You wanted out. Get out. You know the way to the front door. Leave, don't ever come back!" He cut me off. His voice returning to the cold tone it always was. Stepping away from the wall that he must have now realised he was pressed against, he straightened up and met my stare with a leveled one of his own but his eyes had turned a lighter shade of grey and even though I could sense him putting up his walls again his eyes didn't change back.

I felt a spark of satisfaction, I hit a spot in him and there was proof that it actually affected him.

"N-" I was about to protest but a large hand covered my mouth and the other took hold of my forearm and before I could see where I was going Payne pushed me out of his room, released me and went back in and locked the door.

"Payne!" I yelled as I got up and banged on his door once again. He didn't answer and I knew he wasn't going to, he wasn't going to open up for me either. Those both things went unsaid.

I felt my heart throb in my chest as I stopped pounding on the door and sat on the ground in front of his door.

He told me to get out and don't ever come back. I'm free. But thinking about that particular freedom I know I could never be it now. I'll always ache for a mate that could have been mine. I couldn't help the tears that began to spring from my eyes. God, I hated looking anymore weaker in front of him but I couldn't help it. I spoke so much. It was the first time that I got to express myself to someone and it all was like words in the wind. Going nowhere.

Getting to my feet, I bundled up the last pieces of my pride, which wasn't much really and faced Payne's bedroom door once more. It didn't make sence to yell a good bye or anything really, he didn't care and probably flipped his switch to his asshole side by now.

With my head held high, my heart shattered once again and my emotional grid all messed up, I began walking toward the front door. It's stupid but even with everything he put me through I was willing to stay and go through hell again aslong as he'd be with me but it wouldn't make sence going through that hell, he still wouldn't chose me.

Walking past Payge's room, through the seemingly shorter narrow hallways I saw the giant double doors of this cold castle.

The tears fell in sync with everything step I took to the door and my heart dropped its broken pieces on the ground as I left through the doors.

The cold night winds seemed even colder as I made my way toward the forest that I now knew too well and the moon above me seemed to shine down upon my path like a spot light.

Was I really going to do this? Leave him? After everything ...
Why did part of me want to go and the other part want to stay. I was finally free but I felt caged in my emotions.

It was until I was deep into the dark forest that I realized I couldn't leave. I just couldn't. A life without seeing Payne's gorgeous face even if it was always cold was a life I didn't want to live in. Turning on my heel and begining to treck back I heard a twig break behind me.

Turning to investigate what had caused the noise I was shocked beyond words that couldn't be formed. There, standing in the woods behind me was a man I had completely forgotten about, the man that was the reason I feared to return back to my pack. He would have his way if he had a chance and sadly now he had the chance. Standing behind me was none other than Dimitry. The werewolf that had continuous beaten me for three hours then attempted to rape me until I made his penis and balls turn into one. He was the reason I ran and he was the reason I had to run now.

And here I was thinking the goddess was smiling down at me, right now, she was throwing her shit at me and that shit came in the form of Dimitry.

Yes .. I'm upset with myself too. :( I got tied up in so many things this week and I really thought I'd be able to finish sooner. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.. It's Reeeaaallly long and full of fun stuff. Vote and comment guys I'll try to update the next one A.S.A.P ...
What do you think is gonna happen next? What did you think of Payne letting her go?
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I'm so grateful for all the support guys .. Thank you all.
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