14.Empyreal

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  "I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close."   

I woke up on the next day with a big pain on my back. I fell a sleep on the ground while Zayn didn't take long to do it on the couch. His hand was falling of the couch on my direction. So I found myself smiling like a fool and touching his fingers one by one. What did I do?

The clock marked the 9 a.m and I really thought about what should I do with everything. With my life. With Zayn. It would be complicated keep the "friendship" after that kiss, I knew we both knew that but I really wanted more than a friend. 

I got up of the floor and ran slowly to the bathroom. I needed to take a shower a big, hot and relaxing one. I opened the water and stayed there quiet and waiting for it to become warm. I would probably get a cold after sleeping with my back on the cold floor but maybe it was nothing.

I took of my clothes and got inside the shower cabin and closed it. I liked the steam around me, the really hot water and the smell. Because let's admit, coconut shampoo is a really good smell don't even deny. I closed my eyes and got myself under water with my head against the wall. 

I loved him. I smiled. I loved him really much. 

That was when understood something that made my smile fade away.

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"Alison, are you in there?" The knocking on the door made me grab the shower towel and bury my face on it. He shouldn't see me that way.

"Yes." I answered cleaning my voice a bit before talk.

"Are you okay?" 

"Yes." I said taking a deep breath and cleaning my eyes again. I should stop and return to present I couldn't think about the future. I grabbed my clothes and put it on really fast. When I got out Zayn was at he door.

"You're not okay."

I looked at him pretty confused. I couldn't understand why was he saying that, he had no proof. Why would he say there was something wrong? His eyes looked around the room before stop on me. 

"I know you, I know you're sad." 

"It's nothing." I ignored him and walked away to the kitchen, my stomach was begging for some food and there was bacon on the fridge walking for my hungry. 

He followed me as I expected, he was on silence and I knew he wouldn't give up on the conversation sometimes he was a tough talker. I reached the kitchen and I started making my coffee I hated coffee anyway but I felt a big need of it on the moment. Also started to make some hot chocolate, Zayn was in love for it and maybe he would forget the conversation after some sweet chocolate with marshmallows. 

"I hope we can talk about this Alison." He started.

I ignored him again. What should I say? Talk? I kept doing my coffee and grabbed the sugar. He would be mad if I didn't talk.

"You're leaving." I told him on the middle of my coffee.

He sat on a chair near him and looked at the table carefully. His face was so serious, a painful expression for a ball of happiness. He wouldn't stay obviously.

"Would you stay for me?"

His eyes left the table and focus on me. 

"I can't stay. I can't stay for you." He said slowly and swallowed his guilty tone. Then he got up and walked near me. "If I could stay I would stay and love you until the end. I would beg to stay if it was possible. I would do everything to stay. But there's nothing I can do."

I turned my back to him and turned off the coffee machine. My tears  start to falling down my face and he understood it. I was useless at the moment. I was mad with myself, I was disappointed because I shouldn't fell for him. I should never accept him on my house because I would love him.

"Alison, please."

"I'm sorry."

His arms appeared around me and his chin was resting on my shoulder. 

"I'm here. I'm here now. Please don't think about it. You're hurting yourself by doing this." His lips touched my neck and made a line on it. " Please stay on the present, we will find a way."

I nodded and he made a little smile. He was right after all. I shouldn't be thinking on the end if we were only on the beginning. My hand grabbed his hot chocolate and he stole me the cup making me laugh a bit. I stared at him while he was drinking his chocolate and marshmallows . 

"What?" He asked me when he catch my eyes staring. 

"You're empyreal." I said after some time.

His confused expression made me smile and I let my coffee on the table. It was awful.

"It's a word I learnt a while ago. It's from the Middle English and it means celestial or from the heaven." I told him. "I thought it would stay awesome to you."

He laughed and kissed me slowly. I thought about when he asked me to kiss him on the park. He had the whole permission on the world.

"You're the only celestial being on this room, my love." He ended up saying.

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Zayn

Ali left for work, she had to work on the evening and although I didn't want to leave her I knew that jobs were some real stuff in here. And about "the conversation" I understood her panic, I also felt it. I would miss her and I wouldn't handle see her having a new love that was not me or dying. I just couldn't think about it. Human feelings were the worst thing ever. 

But they were made to be felt. She was everything I had, she was my soul and life. Without her  wold be a lifeless body anyway.She was the closest to real heaven I would be. 

The doorbell rang interrupted my thoughts and for seconds I cursed with those bad words the human being that was on the door. We barely had visits. 

When I opened I understood that I was not cursing a human soul. The curly head appeared on my vision line and made me swallow every word I was thinking on. 

"What are you doing here?" I asked with my voice shaking.

"I'm cleaning your shit Zayn. That's what I am doing here." 

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Hello guys and I'm sorry if I took so long to update. Busy life. But I have to say it's being the most amazing days of my life, academic spirit in Portugal is the coolest thing ever. If you're on university, if you're going or if you were there please leave on the comments what do you think about it.

Also want so tell you that I may answer some of your questions in a new part so please leave questions about the story, about me about my cat Sasha hahah just ask whatever you want I'll answer.

Love you all. Leave a comment and vote because Zayn is empyreal! x

(And I'm sorry of there are some mistakes, english is not my first language.)




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