It Doesn't Change A Thing.. ( 1D ) Editing

don't make me regret it

'Then about a week before we came here, when we were on an Interview , the host saw one of the  scars and asked me about it . I could make uo an accident , but the boys were furios when they found out what I did .They told me it was my own fault ,and that it wouldn't have gotten out of hand if I told them .They don't treat me the same as they did before they found out , since then . When I enter the room , they stop talking and look at me till I either leave or start to talk to them , as if they are waiting for me to spill my every problem to them . They baby me , but boss me around at the same time and are quite rude sometimes . When ever I am tired and am not smiling , they keep me away from knifes or other sharp stuff as if I was suicidal . Simon calls me at least once a week and asks about the tour , I always tell him that everything is good . He then keeps asking me to tell him what is wrong . I always hang up on him .I can rarely bring myself to laugh anymore , because there are still so many haters . I know Zayn is quite the target too and Harry is being pestered also , but I don't know how they handly it so well . I- I just can't let it slip , it hurts when people I don't know talk this shit about me , but yesterday I found an Twitter accound , created by haters of me . These haters went to school with me and tell everybody storys about High school . Emma this side has almost a million followers !  There are a million people out there who hate me ! Why ? What have I done ? I - I don't want this anymore , I love our fans , I really do , but I just don't think that it's worth it anymore . Do you know what I mean ? '

His question took me by surprise , but I turn to face him anyways . He patiently waits for me to speak , tears running down his cheeks , his normally happy and shining eyes matte . he looked terribly exhausted . His features were contorded in pain and uneasyness . He was shaking and sobbing , looking nothing alike with the boy I was with only a few hours ago . I guess he isn't as bad as an actor as everone thinks . I then answered ' Yes I do understand you . I know how much it hurts when people who are important to you , backstab you . It hurts so frickin much . '

I realized that I was telling Niall one of my secrets and stopped . As he looked at me confused , I said ' I- I never told - I haven't told anyone about this Niall . Not even - No there is nobody that i trust fully . But I am starting to trust you . So please don't make me regret it  '

Niall nodded and I was starting to feel nervous , so I did the same as he did and took his hand in mine . ' Like I said , my mother left me and my sister when dad died . I brought my sister and me through with the fighting . Some nights I would come home covered in bruises . I wouldn't be able to move for days ,my sister would cure me till I had to gain money again . These nights I thoughts about ending it all . All the pain wasn't worth it , my father wasn't there anymore , my mother didn't care . I could've brought her to an orphanage , she wouldn't even had to see me .I was standing on the rooftop . In this moment , my mother rang the door bell . If she had been back a second later I would've been dead . I felt guilty since I promised dad to be strong . I trained every day , many hours to get better , after only half a year , I attended professional fights . I won them all . My feelings play the main part in this . I keep them bottled up , turn every hurt , sad or painful memory into anger , let it out on my opponent .I almost killed Rick when I met him in the ring . '

Nialls eyes were huge and he was gaping at me . I had to admit it hurt that he was judging me now . or so I thought . Suddenly he wrapped me into his arms and whispered ' I'm so sorry for you . I didn't know . It must have been hard for you '

I nodded and answered ' I think some people could have handled it better than me , others worse . But I think even thought I'm pretty cold towards most people , I'm a really sensitive and fragile  person , I get easily hurt and once you lost my trust it takes a long long time to rebuild the tiiest bit of it . My best friend before Angelina slept with my boyfriend at this time . Rick . ' Nialls Jaw hung low and I sighed and continued ' turns out he just didn't know that I was fighting and didn't want her to tell me that he did too. She black mailed him into cheating on me . As I found them together and broke it up with Rick , she went and told everybody that he was her boyfriend and that I tried to steal him from her . He was scared to tell the people in school what was really going on , so ... I hated him . Now .... I'm not so sure .'

Niall was still looking at me with wide eyes , but his gaze was soft and his ocean blue eyes had regained a little of their usual colour . I smiled at him , which made him smile back . ' Hey , you tired yet ? ' I asked and he shook his head .

At the thought that I was currently thinking , a large grin stretched my lips .' Go and get dressed into something warm , then come back ' I pushed hm out of the door and closed it . Quickly jumping into my black hoodie and warm socks , then I grabbed a blanket from my drawer and the guitar .

A few minutes later Niall came in , wearing a green hoodie , and a grey beenie over his head . ' Come on I wanne show you something ' he followed me into my ward-robe and I pulled the long ladder down , that lead us further up . ' wait a second ' I mumbled .I opened the hatch and pushed it up , but it wouldn't budge . I added more pressure and it worked . Even though it triggered a whole bunch of snow to fall into my ward-robe . I squealed and cursed while laughing , while Niall was simply laughing his ass off . ' Fuck you ' I mumbled , he grinned cheekily and said ' You wish ' My eyes went wide and he started o laugh again .

We were sitting on the blanket that I had bought and were wrapped  into another one. I had the guitar on my lap and was playing random accords . Then a thought came to my mind ' Can you play something for me ? ' I asked Niall . First he looked hesitant and I knew exactly why ' Niall , seriously ? You believe them ? Can you hear yourself ? You have a voice as clear as an angels . You sing wonderful Niall , don't let anybody tell you otherwise . Simon does know what he is doing . At least when it comes to music ' A small smile played on Nialls lips and I pouted ' Puh-lease Nialler ? '

A groan escaped his mouth as he started to strum A-Team by Ed Sheeran . 

 White lips Pale face , Breathing in the snowflakes ............

it's too cold outside , for angels to fly , to fly , to fly an angel could die

When he stopped , I was already drifting off to sleep . He put the guitar back into his box and pulled mecloser to him . The last thing I heard , was 

' I won't leave you alone .You will never have to go through anything alone again . I promise '

I only managed to say ' I'll remember you of this Mr. Horan '