Osc one shots

1. Book x pencil (bfdi) heavy agnst and some fluff

this is set as pencils pov btw yes

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I miss freesmart.

the way I used to be happy back in bfdia was long gone, I was just a tired worn out version of the girl I used to be, I just sat there broken tears streaming down my face.

All I wanted was to be happy again I missed them, Ruby, match, ice cube, bubble..

especially book. I don't know why but I miss her more, it's not like she's gone, still in and competing but what is genuinely the point? , the way book called me more selfish then before, just makes my heart ache all I wanted was how things used to be before I was kidnapped inside of four stuck doing math and shit in a classroom for years.

But the way she yelled "I HATE YOU!!" still echoed in my mind like a broken radio the argument, everything.

whatever, it's not like I personally care.

....

..

I started choking on my tears, my pencil body shaking with every sob trying to keep more and more quiet not to attract any attention to all the other contestants, I just sat near the hotel walls my back leaned against the wall staring at my hands and just wondering what all went wrong, I shouldn't be crying like this, like some pathetic baby. But they just couldn't stop, like they had a mind of its own.

"come on, stop crying get ahold of yourself."

I muttered under my breath.

I felt so weak, so powerless. Why can't I just stop being such a pathetic bitch?? why can't they just stop?

It's such a shame, I used to be so free and happy but now I try to cling to the remaining hopes of my past that arnt even there anymore. I can't move on as much as I want to deny it.

Free smart means everything to me, it was the only time I felt proud and better. And where I was actually seen.

I smacked myself hard in the face, like it's going to wake up my reality. But I just sat there more broken then before, I could hear foot steps slowly approaching the rustling of the yellow grass startled me like crazy as I immediately turned around trying to hide the fact I was crying,

"pencil? why are you all the way over here."

It was book, of course her voice was recognizable even from miles away. I immediately felt that overwhelming sense of dread and heartache like before, and she still had the audacity to talk to me after saying she hates me?

"fuck off. Arnt you supposed to be with your team?"

I asked, trying to hide that sadness with a tough cold face, I didn't want to be seen like this. It hurts, just seeing the small frown on her face just wants me to take everything back but I didn't,

"Arnt you?"

She asked, I didn't turn to face her, my heart kept racing out of my chest, I didn't respond just standing there with my back turned, standing straight up my legs felt like jelly, desperately trying not to break.

Should I just apologize?

but the hurtful words she said before, she dosent want to be my friend, nor be in a alliance with me anymore, I shouldn't care. I should hate her guts but apart of me dosent want to, I could hear her sigh, just about to turn and walk around, I clenched my teeth hard, before I even wanted to, I yanked her arm. Stopping her before she could even take another step.

I could see the hatered on her face but also looks really guilty aswell. I can't explain why, but it just made me feel more.. guilty then I ever wanted to before,

"don't go."

"please."

She yanked my arm away, looking at me up and down in disgust, like I was some freak. A monster, tears were still pouring from the corners of my eyes, the occasional sniffle filling the silent air around us.

The silent was so tense, you could pratically cut it right open with a knife right now, we stood there for a good while, as I broke down more right infront of her.

"Don't try to win over my sympathy, you're just doing this to make me feel bad."

That words cut deeper than the Mariana Trench, my mouth hung open for a few seconds absolutely stunned trying to process every word she just possibly said to me.

How could she just think that?

"you. is this how low you think of me?"

"Fuck, fuck you."

I shoved her hard, I wanted to scream at her i wanted to push her hard I wanted to never see her stupid face again, after saying that? It should have just been over. But honestly I just broke down more, sobbing uncontrollably as she just stood there looking right at me, like I'm just a clown in a circus.

she didn't say anything or say much, for a long time just staring at me in this state. Worse then she probably has ever seen me in so long, I could. Hear her steps moving closer and closer,

"I really want to hate you pencil."

She spoke first, cutting the tension first, I tearfully looked up at her as she knelt right next to me, who cares of what I personally look like anymore? the tears just couldn't stop.

"you are selfish, you just want to go back to the past just because you were happier there don't you, you don't care about the effects or how badly you treat your own teammates from cloudyay. You really would do anything for that huh?"

She spoke, first, I didn't react much, just staring blankly right at the ground. just feeing numb,

Then she just randomly pulled me in for a hug, it was so long since I last had a hug like that, that felt warm. Comfortable, and just felt like home.. I sobbed out loud, not caring anymore, just letting my emotions free..

"why now are you hugging me?"

"Why book why? don't you hate my guts?"

...........

"as much as I want to, it hurts seeing you like this. I still care for you, as much as I don't."

"so please. Don't let go of me."

1066 words

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