Algorithm

Synopsis

Sometimes living in this world feels completely confusing. Day after day, it’s the same routine: open your eyes, eat, study, sleep—and then repeat it all over again. Nothing ever feels new. Meanwhile, people my age are out there living their best lives. It’s not their fault that mine isn’t the same. After all, I’m the one who ended up living like this, as if I’m nothing more than a breathing stone. I never wanted it, but right now, it feels like this is all I’m capable of doing—just existing, just surviving, not truly living.

It’s not as if I don’t have hobbies or skills. I can paint, I can write, I can play video games—there are plenty of things I can do. But none of them excite me anymore. Maybe I’m not grateful enough, because sometimes it feels like I’m stuck with a mind that wanders as deeply and painfully as Dostoevsky’s. My world feels like a void—no light, no direction, no future ahead. I’m in my twenties now, yet when I compare myself to others my age, I can’t see any plans, any future, any real life for myself. Maybe it’s because I never expected to live this long in the first place.

It’s strange, almost unbelievable, that I’ve been facing the world all these years without really trying. And here I am—still breathing, still moving forward—even though there were nights I never thought I’d survive. Lost. Confused. Still hating my life for what it became, and hating that I didn’t die that night.

This is my story: a normal college girl with no clear plans, trying her best just to exist. Someone who is terrified of spending her whole life working like a slave, someone who swallowed her pride just to stay alive in this void. Someone who wonders what her life might have been if she had ever truly enjoyed anything, instead of wasting years trying to copy the lifestyles of strangers curated by an algorithm.