confessions

🖤:: confession #1

confession one

to confess please use the google form in the bio of this account 

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

I'm sorry my love. I wanna be friends with you I swear. I love talking to you, I love hearing you rant about something, or just tell me about your day and how you've been. And I thought I was over you, I really did. I cried so much when it all went down, I even told my parents about everything, I didn't care anymore that they may take away my access to all this, I couldn't bear it anymore. And it sounds like I'm being dramatic, but the day we ended my world did too. And you got over me so quickly. And I don't blame you because I know it hurt, and I'm glad you found your happiness in someone else, even if just for a moment. So please, I want to be friends with you, I want to be a part of your life. But when I see you flirt with them, even though you're not serious, it breaks me. And I hate it because I want us to be friends. And I can't say anything because it would made you doibt your actions, and you're perfect, and not responsible for how I feel. I swear I thought I was over you. But the moment we started talking again, and left the past behind us, and we had a new insider and you called me love, I could feel it all again. And I don't want to. Because I don't think that you'll ever like me like that again after what happened last time. And that's okay. But to heal I would have to distance myself a little, and I can't do that. I'd rather be happily broken by you than miserably healed. Because you were my everything. And you told your friends that I was yours. God I still have all the chats, the pictures, screenshots. I can't bring myself to delete them because if I did, I would have no proof that it all really happened. Because what if one day I wake up and it didn't happen? I keep hearing that damn song from that damn artist that remind me of us. And wanna scream it into the world because I can't bear carrying it alone, but how could I tell anyone when it means that you could see it too? And you shouldn't see what this does to me, because it could mean that you'd leave me again. Maybe to protect me. Maybe to protect yourself. Either way, I'd rather die than lose you again. You know I tried. God I couldn't eat for a week after it all went down, and the food still turns to ash when I taste it on my tongue. But as long as it means that you'll be just a tiny bit safer than without me, I'll keep chewing dust, and drinking oil, and drowning on too little oxygen. As long as I can give you a piece of peace, I'll shut my mouth forever. I love you <3

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘