only me, only you

Chapter 8

She took one last deep breath as she braced herself knowing there was absolutely no way to put this delicately, she just had to get it out fast as if ripping off a bandaid

"I slept with the Dark Lord" she rushed out before she could back out, wincing when instantly Ron began choking on his own saliva as he whacked his chest and sputtered, she glanced sideways at Hermione to find her still staring into the distance but her eyes were so wide Harriet was sure they must be stinging

"W-what" Ron half choked, half shrieked "you slept with the dark Lord like as in you had SEX with him?" His shrieking reached ear shattering levels and she glanced around frantically to make sure no one else was around to hear

"No as in we cuddled, yes of course I mean sex Ron" she said trying to keep her voice as low as possible

"Oh forgive me for needing to be clear on what I was hearing, not everyday your bestfriend tells you she's shagged her greatest enemy" he shouted and she flinched

"Your right I'm sorry, I know it's not something you'd expect to hear, it's not exactly something I imagined saying" she glanced at Hermione who still hadn't moved a muscle, Harriet wondered if she was in shock

"Not something we'd expect to hear" he shouted "that's a bloody understatement isn't it" he rubbed his hands aggressively over his face as if he could scrub her words from his brain

"when, how and more importantly why Harriet" his hand gripped his hair as he stared at her in complete disbelief

She opened her mouth about to answer his questions when Hermione's filled the space around them instead despite how quietly she spoke "I knew" her back was still to them, facing out at the lake still

"You knew?" Harriet questioned "what do you mean" she stepped back to her friend so she could see her face and her heart ached when she caught sight of a tear rolling down her slightly reddened cheek

"The ball, the way he was with you and the fact you were gone all night" she turned to Harriet now "I don't claim to know anything about how deep yours and the dark lords connection runs but even I could feel the shift that night, especially the morning after when you returned"

Harriet stood in silence for a moment "I wanted to tell you then and there I swear but I was just so scared" she whispered and looked down at her feet unable to look at her friends tears any longer

"I know your both confused as to why and probably horrified too, I wish I could tell you everything but there's something I promised him I'd keep secret" she glanced at Ron to find him watching her intensely

"The treaty wasn't just a late night thought he had because he was scared of losing, he discovered a secret about me and it changed everything" she glanced back at Hermione with her own tears building and then back to Ron

"I never planned for any of this, I just" her voice caught and she swallowed thickly "I don't think there is anything I can say that will ever help you to truly understand but i desperately wish there was"

Her tears fell and she wiped them from her face "I understand completely if you hate me, if your disgusted in me but I can't change it or stop it from happening" she pressed her palms into her eyes and pressed hard willing the tears to stop

"It's just so complicated" her arms fell to her side and she faced them head on now, Hermione had moved to stand beside Ron so they both stood before her

"But none of us can dispute that my fate was always tied to him, we've been tied together since the moment that stupid prophesy was spoken aloud it's just changed to a different intensity now" her voice was quiet like she was scared to spook them