Before He Cheats (Work In Progress)

Chapter 23

I took a few deep breaths to calm down and direct any negative feelings I had towards this energy to use on myself.

In fact, I see this as a sign to take the rest of the day easy. This wasn’t worth my attention, and I didn’t have time to indulge in pathetic, immature games.

I went straight to my room and organized my wardrobe for the upcoming vacation I am taking to Barbados and Turks & Caicos. I was excited to be away and take some time for myself.

I spent the rest of my night taking a relaxing lavender bath, enjoying good food, and my favorite movie before climbing into my comforting bed, where I read a bit as I grew tired.

I only had time to nurture myself in all areas of my life. There is no time for unnecessary stress and worrying about irrelevant matters like this.

I am my main priority. I am pouring into myself. I prioritized myself before; however, getting divorced has only made me see how much I’ve put off and how I need to center myself more and just myself.

It’s why I’m heavily considering going back to school for my master’s; it would help me advance my career and have more knowledge in the industry. I was advanced in my career already, but this was something I wanted to do for myself.

The next day, I woke up refreshed and did my routine, which involved my morning playlist and reciting the positive affirmations on my mirror. It has helped me so much, especially if any negative thoughts come into my head. I've gotten better at reciting the empowering affirmations in my head that I wrote for myself, and those thoughts go away.

Nothing could stop me and the happy life that I was creating.

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MATTHEW POV:

I inhaled a hit of the vape in hopes that its toxic levels of nicotine would soothe my nerves as I prepared myself. A bad habit I had picked up due to the newfound and overwhelming stress I had been dealing with. I couldn’t stop pacing along the carpeted floors of my new office as I ignored the mounting messages and calls on my phone. The wide view of the city with tall glass ceilings illuminated by the natural sunlight of the afternoon did nothing to calm my nerves.

There was only so long that I could keep pretending that everything was normal. That I was still happily married.

The day that I had been served a restraining order that was served to me from my ex-wife was painful. But, this was all my doing.

I recently left my old firm and started working at the firm of one of my dad’s long-time friends.

My schedule was more relaxed and offered a hybrid working environment with less pressure on my shoulders and a salary bonus because of my connection to the owner. I had to leave my old workplace; they were aware of my personal life and knew too much.

Having your mistress put the news of your affair and pregnancy on the internet is damaging. I couldn't escape the judgmental looks, hushed whispers, and distance from my coworkers. It was too much. It made the workplace hell for me.

Thankfully, at my new firm, everyone was older and didn't have social media and barely knew how to use it.

My wife leaving me was hard enough. Finding out I'm expecting a baby from my mistress when I planned on living a childfree life was hard enough. Having everyone, including family and friends, turned against me was hard enough. Being without the love of my life is hard enough. Living with the consequences of my choices was hard enough.

I didn't need anyone or anything to add to the dogpile I was experiencing. It was my fault. My self-esteem and ego got in the way of the truth. I thought the secret calls, messages, and meetups meant more than they did. It was a surprise for me. My beautiful, caring, thoughtful wife, who wanted nothing to do with me.