If He Hadn't Listened To Me - If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin

eighty-nine (part two)

When Finny appears in the frame of my bedroom door, I sit him down on my bed and stand in front of him. Without looking at him, I force myself to reveal the pregnancy test hidden behind my back.

There is a long silence. I do not need to look at Finny to know that he is sitting there stunned with the plastic stick in his hand, lost for words. Eventually he breaks the silence.

"You're pregnant."

I lift my gaze to meet his, and I'm instantly greeted by his grin - a wide, infectious thing that nearly stretches to his ears. With a playful tug on my sweatshirt, he draws me closer, positioning me between his legs. He looks up at me then, wearing a smile so pure and content that it feels like the world has melted away.

"Autumn, we're going to have a baby."

I nod gently, eyes brimming with tears - and then Finny rises and pulls me into a firm embrace. I cling to him even tighter, and together we stand there, locked in silence, as if time itself has paused. Our bodies tremble with a flood of emotions - grief, relief, love, and everything in between. When we finally part, our eyes are swollen and red, and our shoulders damp with each other's tears.

"How are we going to tell The Mothers?" he says in a hushed tone, as if he doesn't want anyone to hear him.

I shrug my shoulders, throat too raw from crying to even speak. I look up at him, immediately lost in his shimmering umber eyes. I could stare at them for hours, forever examining every tiny detail of his intricate irises. He looks back at me, as if we were having a staring competition, and leans down to plant a soft kiss on my forehead, assuring me that everything will be okay.

I take his hand into mine and together, we make our way downstairs, knowing that it's just me and Finny now.

Finny and Autumn together, side by side, against the world.

. . .

"I'm pregnant." I say, letting the cat out of the bag. It seems as if the world has stopped in place before my mom takes my free hand into hers from across the table, and relief rushes through my body like a drug. "Oh Autumn," Aunt Angelina says softly, reassuring me with her soothing tone.

Finny sits next to me and places his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to his body. The Mothers exchange a celebratory look before Aunt Angelina speaks again. "Look, me and Claire will always be here for you both, and we want to support you and the baby in every way possible. So, we need to know what your plans for college are."

Me and Finny exchange a glance, hoping the other would have an answer. I had briefly thought about it, but I hadn't given any proper attention to the future. Taking our silence as an I-don't-know, my mom speaks this time. "I think you both should take a year or two to focus on yourselves and your baby. I know it may seem like a lot but trust me, you're going to need it."

She and Aunt Angelina continue to talk about college, pregnancy and everything else related. By the time they're finished, Finny and I are bored out of our minds, despite their knowledge supposedly being useful. I look down at my lap and close my eyes, imagining the bump on my stomach that would come soon.

And for the first time in years, I feel like things are going to turn out the way they were always meant to be.