Amaya, Why Must You Not Trust Me?

The Beginning is also The End

"Why can't you just leave me alone? I'm trying so hard to ignore your calls, text, and whatever else you left me." I look up at the sky, my hand still on the phone. As hard as I try, I'd never be able to hang up, not on my father. "I'm aware you're trying to change, I just can't trust you again. It's not going to happen." I hear a scoff on the other line, I'm not sure if it was a laugh or a disapproval scoff but it doesn't matter. He hangs up right after it.

He had called for some reason, something he's been doing often. It has the same theme every time. "Oh, Amaya, why won't you let me change? I've been trying so hard for you." I can't help but feel bad. What if he really is changing? The last few times he had said that I had ended back out into the street. I could handle that until I had Elizabeth. Elizabeth didn't get me any mercy, perhaps it made his drunken rage worse. The second time he had kicked us both out of the house was the first time I ran away. Elizabeth didn't deserve this. I took my very few savings, probably a total of $200, and stole some of my fathers from his "Booze Bin." Another $600, with some still left in the bin. We lived on the streets for a few days while I planned stuff in my head. Elizabeth, just being a few months old, needed something safer, better. I eventually decided on a cheap hotel room, got 4 jobs and hired a nanny to help me with my child.

The call with my father had happened while on the way to work, not at night like usual. I had stopped on the sidewalk, still being 2 or more blocks away from arriving when he had called. Now that I'm off the phone, I haven't moved much. The only thing I had managed to do is get the side nearest to the buildings so others wouldn't hit me. Now, I stand leaning against an abandoned shop. My mind starts to spin and I'm unaware of my surroundings. What if he had changed? What if he tries to take Elizabeth again? Why am I so afraid? How did I make it to the city? My hands, now tingling, start to go fuzzy. I look, and the world goes fuzzy as well. Similar to static on a television screen. Was the world always blurry? Maybe I'm dying somehow and I'm in shock. That would be alright, the nanny is over today. "Hey!" The fuzziness disintegrates, giving me an instant headache. "Move, move!" Move? Move where? And when? "Miss I said-"

I fall to the ground, pain shooting up my legs and back as I fall. The fuzziness in my brain comes back, the headache worsening. I attempt to get up but rather than my body standing, the light from the sun comes back. A win but also a loss. Rather than the normal sky though, it was lingered with cracks and black ooze leaking from it. Green 1's and 0's stick in the black ooze of the cracked world. A code. My head pain, which I didn't know I had more of, comes in and I reach up to grab it. Black ooze and the same green numbers show in my hand, glitching. My blood or something meant to represent it. The world seems slowed, everyone frozen but I can hear someone talking. It comes in as pure static, a noise that a human shouldn't make. A noise I should be able to make.

After minutes of staring at the sky, the void of liquid oozing from it, I'm able to stand. Everyone around me was stuck, but they weren't glitching like I was. My skin that was covered in the green binary had felt nothing, it felt as though my arm and my leg had fallen asleep. I continue to look around, trying to get used to the feeling in my leg as I walk. "M-miss?" I turn around to see a guy, around my age, trying to get my attention. He also had code, but on his face and a bit of his hand. Is it spreading?

I feel almost afraid to speak back, my voice couldn't be much worse than his. Though, I try to make it seem I'm acknowledging him this time so I nod at him. He starts to smile "I was so worried I killed you or something! I didn't mean to hit you." I nod again, still not trusting my voice. But he seemed fine with how his turned out, no matter how glitchy it was.

"What...happened to us? Nobody else has this on their skin." I wasn't too far from being right, my voice had just sounded staticy but still understandable. But what if it gets worse as time goes on?