Invisible String

54

And I was right where I was supposed to be.

Lily cradled Baylor like he was her own little doll, rocking him back and forth while whispering birthday secrets in his ear. “When you’re four, you get pancakes and cupcakes. But you gotta be quiet when you ask for extras or Daddy says no.”

Travis raised his eyebrows from the stove. “Hey! I heard that.”

Lily gasped, dramatic as ever. “Baylor! You weren’t supposed to tell!”

I smiled from across the table, Mira now sitting in my lap, gnawing on a silicone spoon. She had a trail of drool down her chin and one sock missing, but she looked entirely pleased with herself.

“Do you want to help sing to your sister later?” I asked her quietly.

She smacked the spoon against the table and squealed.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Travis slid the plate of birthday pancakes onto the table and kissed Lily’s head before sitting beside me. “Alright, party crew. Chocolate chip royalty breakfast is served.”

Lily clapped and bounced in her seat, careful not to jostle Baylor too much. “Best birthday ever!”

I helped her set Baylor back into the bouncer while she reached eagerly for her plate. Mira reached toward the pancakes too, fingers sticky and determined.

“Nice try,” I whispered, handing her a few blueberries instead.

Travis leaned over, brushing a stray curl off my cheek. “You okay?”

I nodded slowly, resting my hand over his on the table. “I’m better today.”

He studied me for a second, like he was really checking. “You look better. You’ve smiled more this morning than you did all last week.”

I exhaled, a little embarrassed. “It’s been a hard month.”

“It’s been a month,” he said with a tired laugh. “But we made it. And you’re amazing, Tay. You really are.”

“Even when I haven’t showered in two days?”

“Especially then.”

Just then, Mira dropped her spoon and tried to dive toward the bouncer. I caught her mid-scramble and pulled her into my lap again. “Okay, okay. Mama’s got you.”

Lily looked up from her pancakes, her face covered in whipped cream. “Mommy?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“I want to do this every birthday.”

“Eat pancakes?”

She shook her head. “All of it. You, Daddy, Mira, Baylor. I want us all here.”

My heart stuttered.

I looked at Travis, who smiled through glassy eyes, then back at Lily.

“Well then,” I said, leaning in to kiss the top of her head, “we’ve got ourselves a new tradition.”

And in that moment, with a sleeping baby, a pancake-covered four-year-old, a spoon-flinging near-toddler, and my husband’s hand in mine—I knew we were gonna be okay. We were messy and tired and figuring it out every single day, but we were doing it together.

And for now, that was more than enough.

The rest of breakfast was a blur of syrupy fingers, blueberry bribery, and Mira somehow ending up with pancake in her hair despite never being handed any. Baylor stayed asleep through most of it, swaddled in the bouncer like a burrito, his little fists twitching now and then as if he were dreaming about being held.