TB & Me

TB free one year on: celebrate the freedom

Written by Ingrid Oxley Oxland

23 March 2015

I finished treatment for pre-XDR TB a year ago, what a celebration!

When I was at my worst was actually right at the beginning during the time of diagnosis and starting on treatment. I got liver failure due to the TB medication and was hospitalised for 75 days, of which I spent about a month in ICU [intensive care unit].

After the liver failure my eye colour changed, I lost a lot of my hair and had these spikes growing and even my voice is deeper, so it took time to get used to the new me.

I found it hard to suddenly not have freedom or abilities that I used to have and felt very vulnerable. I don't think a healthy person can imagine even when trying, how it feels to be so sick (I even now find it hard to imagine, it feels unreal). My world became very small as I just lay in the bed most part of the day.

For a long time, I could not get up out of bed by myself so I relied on others a lot as I lost a lot of muscle mass and was weak. It was hard not to be able to bath myself. I remember and feel bad to say it, but I was jealous of the young girl in the bed next to me who could walk around the nursing station as I was stuck in bed. Now that feels like a crazy thought but I just remember wishing I could get up.

I really appreciated the kindness of my awesome doctor, Dr Stickells and the staff who were gentle with me and cared for me. In this time, I realised how blessed I was to have a loving and supportive family and friends - wow!

After discharge from hospital, I still had a long way to go. Negative experiences were that:

I felt nauseous every day from the TB treatment, sometimes just taking the pills out of the bottle would give me goosebumps already.I had diarrhoea at least three times a day thus I was very thin and weak.At night I had intense foot and lower leg cramps despite being on Magnesium and Potassium.I feared the injection every second night as there were hematoma's at the injection site which were painful, also I hated routine blood tests as it reminded me of being in hospital (my poor husband who had to inject me - I got quite angry when the injection hurt =)I had very little energy and felt tired regardless of the hours I slept the previous night.I struggled with peripheral neuropathy although it was bearable because of the treatment for it.

I just wanted to get through the day when I was so sick, any thing above that would make me feel overwhelmed.

Now I am finished with TB.

To celebrate the freedom I have experienced this past year, I ran a 10km race this weekend, about a year after stopping treatment, to remind me of how far I have come by God's grace. My feet burned, but is was worth it. I also started scuba diving again and had no problems with my lungs!

I must say, now that it is over, that there is a certain richness TB has added to my life. I just feel so sorry for people who go through these hard things alone.

I APPRECIATE the small things I have in my life which I used to take for granted in a way, like having a supportive family and health.

Now, I have loads of energy, which for the two years on treatment I didn't have and really missed having.

I feel my courage to try new things creeping back slowly but surely and it is as if taking on a challenge is easier now.- I want to try things and see what I am able to do.

Being so sick really gave me a new perspective, I feel more like my old self again. Now, I am excited to be able to write that I am working part-time and studying for my Master's degree - things I did not dream about doing.

I love my job and have an inspirational mentor at work! I think the biggest change involves the physical side as well as the emotional side, it was not just about swallowing pills.God was my rock and my shield. I am just glad it is finally over!

Thanks to MSF for all the support and allowing me to express myself on the blogs - it was always encouraging to hear about others who were in the same boat!