Invisible String

42

"Fair point," I said, laughing as we turned off the lights and finally headed to bed.

As we climbed into bed, the warmth of Travis next to me felt like the perfect end to the day. My mind kept drifting back to the little listening party we had just had with the girls-the way Lily's eyelids fluttered closed, the peacefulness of Mira finally surrendering to sleep. Moments like these reminded me just how lucky we were, even if chaos ruled most of the time.

Travis reached over and ran his fingers through my hair, his touch soothing after a long day. "So," he said quietly, "what's next on our holiday agenda?"

I smiled, snuggling closer. "More lights, maybe some cookie baking, and definitely more trouble with the kids."

He chuckled. "Sounds perfect."

I closed my eyes, already picturing the house decked out in twinkling lights, the girls in their Christmas pajamas, and all the noise and laughter that came with it. Sleep tugged at me, but I was grateful for these little pockets of calm before the storm of December truly kicked in.

"Goodnight, baby," I whispered.

"Goodnight" Travis replied, and just like that, the house was quiet-except for the soft hum of the heater and the steady rhythm of our breathing, falling deep into sleep together.

I felt a tug on the blanket before I heard the soft, panicked voice.

"Mommy..."

My eyes blinked open in the dark, heart already speeding up as I turned over. Lily stood by the side of the bed, cheeks flushed and eyes wide, clutching her bunny tightly against her chest.

"Oh, baby," I whispered, sitting up. "Another bad dream?"

She nodded fast, crawling into my lap the second I held out my arms. Travis stirred beside me, blinking sleepily as Lily buried her face into my neck.

"I was falling," she mumbled, voice shaky. "And you didn't catch me."

My chest clenched. "Hey," I soothed, rocking her gently. "I'd always catch you. Always. No matter what, okay?"

Travis sat up, reaching out to rub her back. "Want to lay with us for a little?"

She nodded again, so I pulled the blanket back and nestled her between us. Travis wrapped an arm around both of us, and Lily curled into my side, her tiny hand still wrapped in her bunny's ear.

"You're safe, sweet girl," I murmured into her hair, brushing it back gently. "No more falling. You've got Mommy and Daddy right here."

She didn't answer, but her body relaxed little by little until I heard the soft, sleepy breaths begin. Travis leaned over and kissed the top of her head, then whispered, "She's so sensitive lately."

"She's growing," I whispered back. "Feeling more. Dreaming more. I used to be the same way."

I didn't fall back asleep right away. I stayed awake a little longer, just watching her-her lashes resting on her cheeks, her fingers twitching in her dreams. Even though I was exhausted, there was nowhere else in the world I'd rather be.

The clock glowed 3:12 a.m., and I was still lying there between Travis and Lily, one arm curled under her, the other resting lightly over her back. Her breathing had evened out, and every now and then she'd let out a little sigh in her sleep. Travis had dozed back off too, his hand still resting protectively on her ankle like he couldn't quite let go, even in his dreams.

I closed my eyes, finally starting to drift again, when I felt Lily stir.

"Mommy?" she whispered.

"Mhm?"

"Do you think dreams are real?"

I blinked myself fully awake again. "No, sweetheart. They feel real, but they're just stories your brain makes up when you're sleeping."

She was quiet for a beat, and then: "Okay. I didn't like the story my brain picked."

I kissed the top of her head. "Then we'll make sure tomorrow has a really good one to help fix it."

That seemed to satisfy her because she let out a tiny yawn and nestled closer to me. I hummed softly-just a melody, something slow and soothing. It was a tune I'd used when she was a baby, and even now it calmed her instantly.

By 3:20, her thumb had found its way to her mouth and she was completely out again.

I glanced over at Travis who cracked one eye open, gave me a sleepy half-smile, and mouthed, You're a good mom.

I mouthed back, Team effort.

We both closed our eyes again, with our little girl warm and safe between us, and even though the night hadn't gone how we planned, it still somehow felt perfect.