TRIAL AND ERROR | short stories + snippets

Best Friend Fantasy Adventure: Pirates and Princesses, pt 4

"It's not my fault I was born without impulse control."

Over the past five years, all this friendship has given her is trouble. Cece's the worst best friend of all time. Absolute dimwitted worm-brained nutter.

Their bickering is cut off by a shout from a guard. "They're over here!"

After a second of frantically looking around, Diwa shoves Cece along the hedge in what she hopes to be the opposite direction from the gates. There has to be a servant entrance somewhere. Has to be.

Otherwise, they'll... die. That would suck.

At least the grass is soft. That is, until they reach the edge of the garden and the ground turns into gravel.

Thankfully, the gravel forms a path that leads through a smaller gate and and bridge over the moat. Thanks to the ball requiring all sorts of arrangements, staff is flowing in and out. The gate is kept open, the drawbridge down.

"Sorry," Diwa apologises as she shoves through the gate, making a woman drop the basket of fruit she was carrying. "So sorry."

"Somebody stop them!" a guard shouts, but he's too late. They're already off the bridge.

By this point, Diwa's lungs are twisted up and a stitch stabs her side. Why do people ever run for fun? What kind of masochist lunatic would endure this for fun?

Cece slips in the damp grass and somersaults several cycles down the hill. They clamber right back up and slip again. Wet grass is no joke.

Luckily, the guards haven't developed any kind of grass-resistant soles and once one falls, they domino into each other.

Diwa doesn't waste time watching them clamber back up. Grabbing Cece's hand, she runs faster than she ever has in her life.

Down the hill, through the market, and into the docks. Dorcas's ship comes into sight. Both Dorcas and Madhukar are visible at the stern. She runs blindly, her stare latched to the ship so that the cloaking spell doesn't make her forget she saw it.

"Go!" Diwa waves at the captain. "Go."

Madhukar waves back, smiling.

"We need to leave!"

Finally, it clicks. Jolting into action, Dorcas cuts the ropes that tie the ship to the dock. Shouting commands to the crew, the sails are opened to full canvas and instantly the ship begins to glide from the harbour.

A bit too fast.

The distance to the dock stretches with every second. There is no chance they'll be able to jump on board.

Clearly also realising this, Cece forces himself to run faster in the last stretch of the dock. Hand still in Diwa's, they pull her along.

The length of water grows and grows. They leap.

They won't make it. There is no chance that they can make it.

Just as they start to fall, Madhukar flicks his wand and the air shoves them forward. It's just enough for them to collapse onto the deck instead of plummeting into the sea.

Cece shoves his face off the planks to scowl at Madhukar. "Couldn't have done that a couple hundred metres away?"

"You weren't meant to get caught."

Dorcas waves at the prince who emerges through the throng of guards. "Always a pleasure, dearest Cassius."

Diwa rushes to her feet faster than wise and she has to clutch the railing. The expression on Cassius's face makes this entire run worth it.

She flips both middle fingers at him. Just in case the gesture doesn't exist in this world, she shouts, "Fuck you, you disgusting toad!"

"Roger, take the helm for a bit," Dorcas says to her first mate, and faces Diwa and Cece. "So, did you get it?"

"Well, we weren't chased by the entire royal guard for fun," Diwa bites.

Sure, they were only chased because Cece had to steal the animal figurine but that's entirely beside the point.

"Pardon, love, I didn't mean to insinuate that I doubted you."

Is that sarcastic?

Cece cuts her off by thrusting the music box at the captain. Dorcas takes it with much more care than Cece had handled it with.

"What are you gonna do with it?"

"I owe it as payment for the sea witch from whom it was stolen in the first place."

"Ah, decolonisation." Pressing their palms together in prayer, Cece bows. "Glad to be part of it."

They empty their pockets of all the other shit they've stolen, which turns out to be a lot. Why did Madhukar even give them so many pockets?

Why did Diwa get no pockets? They're both wearing skirts. Misogyny again.

Even Dorcas is impressed by the loot. "You'd make a good pirate," she says, grinning. "So, next mission is to get you two home, then?"

NOTE: The characters in this story are from my book Cece, Disrespectfully. Though same as with the space adventure, that's a contemporary book and has nothing to do with fantasy (save for some horror moments 😅)