Invisible String

1

He stepped behind me and rested his big hands gently on my shoulders. His thumbs began to knead into my tense muscles like he didn’t even realize he was doing it.

“Baby,” he said softly, leaning down near my ear. “Your shoulders are tense.”

I smiled without looking up. “Playing mommy in a hospital is stressful, apparently.”

But inside, something shifted. A low ache in my chest.
Mommy.
I was pretending to be something I might never be — at least not the way I dreamed.

I tried not to let it show.

Tried to laugh when Bennett handed me a sticker for being “so brave at the doctor.”
Tried to ignore the lump in my throat when Wyatt told me my baby was all better now because “we loved her really hard.”
Tried not to cry when Travis leaned down again and kissed the top of my head, completely unaware of how much those little gestures meant to me right now.

I wasn’t ready to say it yet.

But I could feel the words getting closer to the surface.
Pushing up through my ribs.
Begging to be told.

---

Donna and Ed said their goodbyes as the sun began to dip behind the Manhattan skyline, promising to text when they got home safe. Donna hugged me tight, whispering “I love you, sweetheart,” with that mother-in-law tenderness that had only deepened since the wedding.

Jason and Kylie weren’t in any rush, though. They never were when they came to our place. Maybe it was the view, or the fact that someone else handled the dishes, or maybe just the fact that their four kids acted like they’d entered a magical castle anytime they stepped into our apartment.

The girls were still coloring on the floor with the baby dolls and their “medical charts” when Finnley started to fuss in Travis’s arms. He’d been holding her confidently for a solid ten minutes, even swaying a little — clearly proud of himself.

But then she let out a squeaky little wail and began to squirm. Her tiny face scrunched up like the world had suddenly betrayed her.

Travis stiffened. “Uh… what is this? What does she need?”

Finnley shoved her fist straight into her mouth with all the force her three-month-old body could manage. Travis looked alarmed. “Okay, that’s new. Is she trying to eat her hand?!”

Kylie started to stand, but I was already moving. I gently reached for Finnley. “Here, babe. I got her.”

He looked at me, confused, almost a little hurt. “Why did you take my niece? I had it. I could have handled it.”

I giggled, smoothing Finnley’s little wisps of hair before passing her to Kylie, who immediately began to nurse her like it was second nature.

“She’s hungry, Trav,” I said, smiling. “You could not have handled that.”

Travis blinked. “Wait, what? How do you even know that?”

“The fist in her mouth cue. Duh,” I said with a mock-serious look. “That’s, like, baby language 101.”

Jason chuckled from the couch, beer in hand. “Welcome to the next fifteen years, brother.”

Kylie nodded as she settled into the rocking chair with Finnley. “She’s not wrong, Trav. That’s the classic hunger signal. You get used to reading them like a code.”

Travis just stared at me like I’d cracked some impossible riddle.

“You’re scary good at that,” he said after a beat, his voice quiet and sincere. “It’s like you’ve been a mom before.”