Blog Compilation

Hello, My Name is...

Our names are the first things we get when we come into this world. They're also the first thing we share with people. Our name is our first impression, and we all know first impressions matter.

They're like the labels on our personal cans of soup. Sometimes they fit perfectly, sometimes they don't, and sometimes they're just plain hilarious. Names can be so versatile, and you guessed it, customizable!

Let's start off easy with the most generic one; our government names. This can also be referred to as a 'dead name' in queer spaces. You know, the ones your parents picked out after endless debates while flipping through baby name books and online generators. These are the names that end up on all your official documents like driver's licenses, passports, and the inevitable jury duty summons. They're the serious, buttoned-up names that you can't really escape. Think of them as the formal attire in your name wardrobe — necessary but not always the most fun and definitely not always wanted.

Then, there are nicknames. These are the names usually given by friends or family, often with a funny backstory. Maybe you're a Marcus, yet your friends remember that one time that you trusted the wrong fart and now they only call you 'Skid mark'. Nicknames are fun, quirky, and usually a little out there. They're the casual Friday of names — relaxed, informal, and often times a bit silly. Likely names we ALSO don't want.

Now, let's talk about the real stars of the show — preferred names. These are the names that people choose for themselves because, let's face it, who knows you better than you? Preferred names are what people want to be called, and they can be as straightforward or as unique as the person themselves. Simple variations like Richard might prefer to go by Dick, Rebecca might choose Becca, and Samantha might just feel more like a Sam.

Diving a bit deeper into this aspect, it is another way for people within the queer community to become better aligned with how they see themselves. For example, my government name is Kelsey. However, I prefer Kayden. Sure, the preferred name may be far away from the government name and yet it is still just that — a preferred name. It is all about feeling good internally. Preferred names are the personalized, custom-tailored suits of the name world — they fit just right and feel just right.

Here's the kicker — preferred names aren't just for the queer community. They're for everyone! Choosing a preferred name has nothing to do with someone's sexual orientation, parents' opinions, or government's paperwork. It's all about personal preference. Just like you might prefer chocolate over vanilla or cats over dogs.

It isn't right. It isn't wrong. It just is. There, quite literally, is nothing more to it than that.

Respecting someone's preferred name is crucial. It's like getting their order right at the coffee shop — calling a "Caramel Macchiato" a "Plain Black Coffee" is silly! Just like if I wanted chicken nuggets and you bring me chicken tenders. Both can be delicious and yet I will still always choose one over the other no matter the scenario. Using a person's preferred name shows you respect their identity and choices. It's a small thing that makes a big difference, like remembering to put the toilet seat down (seriously, it's not that hard).

So, whether it's a government name, a nickname, or a preferred name, they all play a part in who we are. But it's the preferred name that truly hits the sweet spot. It's the name we choose for ourselves, the one that feels right. So next time someone tells you their preferred name, use it! It's a simple way to show you care and respect their identity. And who knows, maybe one day you'll find yourself opting for something a little more "you" too.