Hearts On Fire {Alex Gaskarth}

Chapter 15

"Jeez Nan don't get your knickers in a twist, I'm here for another half an hour why not chillax a little." I said smoothly as noticed Grace turn another page in her book. Keeping to herself was what she did best, she wasn't good with confrontation at all.

"You could be doing homework." I heard Nancy suggest from the desk in the front and I scoffed loud enough for her to hear.

"If I don't even do my homework at home, what makes you think I'll do it here?" I asked yawning at the end. I could really use a nap right now. Maybe I'll fall asleep for the last fifteen minutes.

By the time I woke up everyone was gone and there was drool spread out over the desk. Ew. I wiped it with my sleeve and stretched making my back crack in several different places before I looked at and noticed it was 4:15 and no one bothered to wake me? Wow.

I grabbed my bag and noticed another person in one of the desks with their head down. The red curly hair was a complete give away. It was Grace. I sighed and maneuvered my way towards her desk and tapped her shoulder and she shot up.
"I didn't draw on his face!" She said softly yet forcefully as she woke up from her dream more.

"Detention ended nearly twenty minutes ago. We can leave." I said simply as she nodded, still not completely awake. She didn't speak at all after that, not even a simple thank you as she grabbed her book, which was the only thing she had and proceeded to walk out and away from me.

I felt the need to go after her. I just wanted everything to be ok now. I wanted to be able to hug her and kiss her now. I wanted to be with her. I fucked up, big time.

I sighed as I made my way out of the school, passing a janitor on the way and waving a small wave and fastening my pace out of here. Memories from our fight flooded my head as I walked down the sidewalk, the two mile journey home.

"I may have unintentionally said yes." I'm so stupid, how do I unintentionally say yes? I don't even know what was going through my head. I'm so stupid.

"You're fucking ridiculous Alexander! I'm your girlfriend! You can't just fuck me and dump me." She always whisper yelled. She never really yelled unless necessary. She had a point though. Damn women, always being right.

"Maybe that's all this was Grace Leila. A fuck and dump." Why did I even say that? I could've destroyed her from that comment. I probably did without even realizing it. I felt terrible about what I said, I can't go back in time and stop myself from saying it, no matter how much I wanted to.

I stopped in my tracks, still a mile from home and I sat down leaning against the brick wall. I couldn't even explain my own stupidity. I ruined everything good I have. It was only a week and I managed to ruin everything between us. She probably doesn't want me back.

Before I could even comprehend what was happening I felt a tear escape my eye and my hands started gripping at my ripped jeans, pinching my thighs as I tried to control myself.

You screwed up Alex. My mind rang. My hands were shaking and the tears brimmed my eyes, but I wouldn't let them escape.

You forgot to take your meds dipshit. I couldn't control myself any longer before I was breathing heavily and darting my eyes around trying to think of something peaceful to calm myself down.

You think trees are you gonna stop you from thinking you screwed up. They're dead, the leaves are nearly gone. My subconscious rang as I started pulling at my hair, the tears streaming down my cheeks now, my breaths got deeper and faster and I was a shaking, crying mess.

That's all you do is fuck up.

"SHUT UP!" I yelled to no one in particular, I looked at my hand as a headache started to form and saw a clump of my hair in between my fingers.

"Alex?" I heard from next to me. I didn't look, I was too mesmerized by my hair as I stared at it. I couldn't bring myself to talk, respond to anyone. I didn't even know who was calling my name.

"Alex, calm down breathe." The person whispered, sitting next to me. Breathe, Alex breathe. I nodded and took in a deep breath and held it before letting it out slowly.

Breathe Alex.

"Hey, hey, you ok?" I looked to my right and a wave of disappointment flooded my chest as my heart sunk to my stomach.

"I'm fine, Lisa, thank you." I whispered and wrung my hands together.

"You never forget to take your meds Alex, what happened?" She asked softly rubbing my shoulder, I really didn't want to be near her right now. I wanted Grace.

"I'm out of it today." I said shaking my head and tapping my head. Lisa smiled a little and pulled me into her while my head rested on her lap and she rubbed my back. Being with her wasn't the same. It was never the same without Grace. This definitely was the worst Tuesday ever.

An: I DONT WANNA BAD! I JUST WANNA BE BAD ENOUGH FOR YOU! It will get better soon, I promise.

I've been dumb obsessed with that song lately, I love it so much omg

Anyway, song of the chapter: Bad Enough For You by All Time Low (aka baes btw Alex is trash out of 10 but I feel for him here)