Unrecognized | LJP AU

8th.

"I'm going to call Louis now." Liam spoke, breaking the very awkward silence between us

We have been sitting in the café for an hour now and no one bothered to talk. I was too weak to even talk. I don't think I'd be able to speak without crying. I already stopped, I don't want to cry in front of him anymore. It just makes me feel a lot weaker.

We immediately got in as soon as Louis arrived. He must've noticed the awkward silence between me and Liam and I was glad he understood it. I didn't want to feel pissed, I've had enough for today already.

"What's up?" Louis whistled

I mentally face-palmed myself. Just when I thought he could keep his mouth shut. Can this guy just stop talking for once? He's really getting on my nerves. Every time he talks, I fight the urge to punch him in the face even though I would really enjoy beating him up.

"What do you think?" Liam almost sounded like he was annoyed by Louis' question. Even Liam was irritated.

Louis puckered his lips and awkwardly whistled. Was it just me or it looked like he wanted to say sorry?

When I got out of the car, I didn't bother turning around to thank them because there was really nothing to be thankful for. As they left, I immediately burst into tears. Isabel will surely try to make me 'spill' but I don't feel like talking to anyone. At all. I just want to rip my heart out so I wouldn't have to go through all this pain. Everything is aching, everything is shattered. I don't even know if I will be able to fix it all, or how I can get out from this huge hole I was thrown into.

I felt like an idiot arguing with myself whether to knock or not. I want to give myself a break. Eventually, I decided to walk for a little while.

Liam's words were playing in my head, triggering my tears once again.

"It's not worth it, I'm not worth it."

"But right now, all I can give you is... Nothing. I don't have anything to give you, Julia."

"I just don't want you to keep your hopes up and think that we might actually still have a chance."

I tried to blink the tears away but they were too fast. I hate this. I hate that he can't remember me, I hate that he doesn't love me anymore, I hate that he had to get involved in an accident, I hate how he used to be my happiness, my haven, and now he makes me want to forget everything too.

People were staring at me and giving me weird looks, probably because I was in so much tears. I wanted to strangle them all because their stares were creeping me out.

After a few more minutes of walking alone, I went back to Isabel's place. It was a good thing I didn't go too far from her house or else I might have gotten lost.

Isabel was shocked to see me. Maybe I look worse than last time. I expected to receive that reaction from her anyway.

The two of them didn't speak to me and I was glad. I don't want to be a sobbing mess in front of them although I was just breaking down in here two days ago.

I locked myself in the guest room and neither of them followed me. I was so tired and so done with crying but here I am, burying my face in the pillows, continuously sobbing. I screamed, hoping the pain would somehow lessen; it felt good but the pain was pretty much still the same.

My head was throbbing and my nose was clogged. I couldn't even breathe properly anymore. I reached my hand out to grab the tissue roll on the side table. Just when I was about to blow my nose, there was a knock on the door. I didn't open it and I blew my nose.