the color of you ↷ n. jaemin & l. mark

three

Friday, October 10th, 1997

"So you're telling me that you carried out this full conversation while whispering?" Yerim asked confused, sipping from her caramel flavored hot chocolate.

"Basically, yeah. I mean, we were at the library. That's how people are supposed to talk there," you answered and she glared at you. "People aren't supposed to talk at all in the library, Y/n," Yerim deadpanned and you scoffed.

"That's not the issue now, Yerim, focus," you told her, averting her attention to what you had to say. "The thing is, I've never seen him before. And now he suddenly comes, looking as if he were sculpted by the gods, and he flirts with me!" you exclaimed.

Yerim opened her mouth to speak but she was cut off by Jisung, who rushed to your table with a coffee cup in his hand, slipping into one of the empty chairs. "Who haven't you seen before?" he asked.

Last night, after your encounter with this guy, Jaemin, you couldn't concentrate anymore. Your mind was occupied with the image of him, the way he looked into your eyes so attentively, the amusing tone of his words and the bulky physique that you could already remember in detail because of how much you stared at him.

So you took your things and left the library because you felt shy. The confidence that had completely engulfed you while you were talking with him vanished abruptly and you immediately came back to your regular, shy self. You couldn't admit to anyone, not even yourself, how flustered he left you after your brief first meeting with him, so you couldn't face your friends after this, because your shyness would turn into embarrassment.

Jaemin sent you the fashion articles he had written, indeed, but that was it. You simply sent him back a 'thank you' email and that was the end of the conversation. Since neither of the two tried to continue it, you decided to just leave him be for the moment. You wouldn't be able to say, or rather email him, anything proper after how bashful he left you. You actually took the time to read his articles instead, but they weren't as helpful as you hoped they would be. At least you were thankful he kept his word and put in some effort.

You didn't know Jaemin. But during the few minutes that you met him, the only thing you could read about him was that he was unreadable. Or, at least, difficult to read. The sharpness in his soft features, the softness of his tough body, and the deep brown eyes that were imprinted inside your mind hid things you couldn't decipher.

His external appearance definitely lured you in, but the mysterious nature of his mind was what kept you intrigued.

So the next morning, you asked Yerim and Jisung to hang out at 'Caramel Craze'. Jisung had a morning shift, so during his lunch break, he would have time to catch up with everything you had to say about Jaemin.

Jisung's eyes traveled between you and Yerim, waiting for one of you to answer his question. You turned to him and hit him back with another question instead of answering his. "Ji, do you happen to know any Na Jaemin?"

His eyes lit up in realization. "Yeah, I do. He comes here quite often," he said. In a matter of milliseconds, he narrowed his eyes at your confused ones. "Why, what about him?" he asked.

You blinked a few times. "You know him? And he comes here? Here, as in 'Caramel Craze'? How have I never seen him?" you fired him with all your thoughts that you voiced out into questions and he stayed still, looking at you as if you were a madwoman.

"Yeah," he trailed off, "I mean, how could you see him when you always look out the window? And then you constantly write on your notebook?" Jisung said and Yerim laughed.

"Don't do her like that, Ji," Yerim said. "She met him last night in the library. And apparently she developed a crush on him overnight," she said and you slapped her shoulder. She let out a yelp and rubbed her shoulder right where you hit her, obviously in a dramatic manner.

"I don't have a crush on him," you said. But you do have a crush on him. Maybe it wasn't a crush, but it was a great interest. You couldn't stop thinking about him, and the most frustrating thing was that you didn't know what was so charming about him that he had you acting like this. You were too ashamed to admit to any growing feelings towards him, because you didn't even know him. And even if you did have feelings, you would never voice them out; the words were stuck in your throat and could only be released through your silly little poems.

You repeated everything you told Yerim earlier so that Jisung knew about what happened at the library. Jisung listened closely, sipping from his coffee cup, nodding and humming at each of your sentences. When you finished, he placed his coffee cup on the table and leaned back into his chair, shrugging. "Why don't you ask him to hang out?" he suggested.

Your eyes widened and your cheeks blazed with heat. "Are you serious?" you asked him.

"I might have to agree with him, Y/n," Yerim pouted while fiddling with her fingers.

"I didn't tell you to ask him out," Jisung started, resting his elbows on his knees as he leaned towards the table, "I told you to ask him to hang out. There's a difference. You want to get to know him better, so you need to spend time with him" he said.

You realized that Jisung was right. He didn't tell you anything you didn't already know, but hearing it out put some sense into you and prompted you to act beyond your thoughts. You were too shy to approach him, though. It still amazed you how well you handled his flirting and you were afraid that your actual reserved personality would put him off.

You didn't even know why you were so curious about his idea of you. Were you that interested in him? You didn't particularly mean to impress him, you just wanted to meet his expectations, whatever they might be. Your way of thinking was unknown to you, which made you believe you were starting to sound kind of desperate. And you absolutely hated that a boy had you acting so unsure of yourself.