The innocent ones

March 02, 2024

i was smiling in the pictures. though my head was clouded with what i wanted to do when i got to my room, i was smiling in the pictures. everyone had their phone out while they all sang happy birthday. i hated the attention. i hated the fact that i knew 80% of the people in this room were gonna post this on their public facebook.

i also hated the fact that my dad would be able to see me in those pictures. the man who up and left on a random night when i was 3. who left my mother alone to raise 3 kids. i didn't want him to see me, he didn't deserve it.

i blew my candles out and listened to people ask what i wished for. i said i wished for roller skates, though that was a lie.

once everyone left and i was finally able to i go to my room, i locked the door and searched for the old bracelet box under my bed. the day wasn't bad, it was actually pretty good, i don't know why i do this to myself. it just feels so normal.

then i went to sleep.

the next day at school was like every other. i went to my classes and didn't do anything. i was either sleeping, daydreaming, or on my phone.

it was almost time for lunch when i got called up to the principals office. most would think that it was a happy birthday wish from him, but no. he sat me down in the chair and started talking about my grades.

he said a whole bunch of stuff that's not really important. but a sum up is that i'm failing a bunch of my classes and have a high risk of failing the year. as if i care.

the economy is completely in the gutter at this point, it's not like im gonna make it big anyways. i'm either gonna have to be a prostitute when i grow up or a druggie homeless woman begging for money to buy her supply. i know where my future is heading.

when the bell rang i went to the bathroom. i normally meet up with my friends but i decided not to today. it's not like they ever pay attention to me anyways. i'm just there until their other friends get there, then im like a ghost.

i leaned against the bathroom wall and put my headphones in. i have Algebra next period. i fucking hate algebra. my teachers a pedo, boys always moaning in the back thinking they're class clowns, girls doing the same. i decided to just skip. it's not like i was gonna make up that 17% by doing like 4 assignments?

once the day was done i sat on the sidewalk and waited for my bus. I was having a pretty peaceful time while listening to my music and watching cars drive past the bus loot. but then my "friend" came and sat next to me.

god, i hated her. she only ever talked to me once all her other friends left. i was her backup. she also seems to think that every aspect of my life is based on my crush from quarter 1.

but i don't like to be mean, so i take my headphones out and wait for her to start talking about something. she never started talking so we sat in silence the whole time.

i let out a sigh of relief when i saw the bus pulling up. "hey Layla, can i sit alone today?" i asked. she nodded to me and we got on the bus.

then i practically became a ghost when i got home.